it is now exactly an hour after i sent mum and dad off at parkside. the room is back to its familiar spacious self again. it was like a dream, that 10 days with mum and dad around in uk and finally in camb. but it was real that they were here. they left so many things behind that it was impossible it was all but a dream. i was still wearing the plum coat and jeans when i stared into the mirror. the dinner they made for me is still in the pot all ready to be heated up. the orchid in the best position in the room. the carpet spick and span because dad vacuumed it before he left. and the shoes and food box reorganised in the way mum left it. but i couldn't find my white fluffy slippers... maybe they packed it in by accident and brought it home...
dad texted me just before he was to board the flight to london gatwick. i could imagine their excitement about coming to the uk. they had wanted to come since my first year here, but it was always too expensive. mum told me that she never thought of visiting scotland, and it all showed when both of them were excited over the sheep we saw on the train from edinburgh to camb. then mum said camb is the most beautiful place, more beautiful than york or edinburgh; it is pretty on any street or corner. i agree with her. i've always wanted to show mum and dad all i love about camb, and i am really glad they came. i hope they can come and see the rose-filled gardens and go punting in june, and marvel at how it would still be bright at 9pm, like how they marvelled at how dark it could get at 3.30pm.
i tried to show mum and dad how independent i could be here, to prove that the little girl has grown up. so i tried to take charge of all the planning, the bookings, the itineraries, the grocery shopping, the cooking, the washing up. and i realised how bossy and impatient i could appear to be sometimes, wanting things done my way. oh, the impatience. i need to be more patient and gentle in speech. but towards the end of the 10 days with mum and dad, i relented. i let them do the dishes, vacuum my floor, and buy me things. it was lovely to be taken care of again, like tohave people to nag you to drink warm water, to shower earlier, to eat proper food. parental care is one great blessing from God, and i am all too grateful that my parents are god-fearing people too.
so it is just 6 more months before i see the dear faces again in the uk, or maybe in europe. then it would be more familiar faces because the 2 brothers will be coming too. but i have a scary task before m-- i need to meet the tripos first, and i really want to do well because i am given so much to be able to do so. i am still scared of it, though i have been through it twice. but there is a hope that i think will sustain me. like a friend who always said 'for the life ahead'.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Thursday, October 02, 2008
From Pole to Pole
i am anticipating the mad head-dive into life in camb again. it may be easier than expected, like how second year seems calmer, albeit only initially, with the necessary mental preparation. or it may be not, because the biochem dept is oh-so-keen.
do you know what happens when you transfer bacteria from 42 degrees water bath into ice directly?
they take in DNA non-discriminately.
but bacteria cannot think.
Monday, August 04, 2008
My Head is Muddled
i had my second lab meeting since i started work here today. it lasted from 11am to 6pm, including a one-hour lunch break. it wasn't longer than the first meeting in london 3 weeks ago, but after the meeting today my head was so muddled that i didn't know what to do and i ended up in borders flipping through fashion magazines for an hour; i intended to read travel guides.
my head was muddled mainly because i don't understand the presentations. then i was puzzled by how the rest of the lab could keep up with the presenters and grill them with questions/ offer them suggestions as the day stretched into the evening. then it was a phase of depression as my colleagues mull over the streak of expt failures that the lab was experiencing.
my lab hasn't been able to clone anything lately, and cloning is supposed to be the most basic of biochem expts. they found the first problem; it was the water that the lab was using. but the problem persisted, despite them switching to an ultra expensive kit that costs GBP600 for 20 reactions. imagine the frustration of 3 post-docs and one phd student trying to clone something that is supposedly not complicated at all. imagine the puzzlement when more complicated expts are working fine.
on the other hand, i am in awe of the knowledge of some of the people at the meeting. the five presentations we had today were on different topics and involved different techniques, but the two young PIs (only in their early thirties at most) at the meeting seem to know so much that they were able to offer suggestions and advice on all of them. i wonder if i could be a PI one day. if i could, at what age. in the uk, you are given a maximum of 6 years of post-doc position to prove yourself worthy of a PI position. otherwise, you will have to think of an alternative career.
i think i am not imaginative enough to be a good scientist, yet. i think i lack the innovation. i need to daydream crazy ideas, find ways to test them, and bang my way through the blips along the way to persevere to the end.
but first, i need to sort out the muddle in my head. i need to stop being so easily muddled.
sometimes i wonder if i really want to be a PI
my head was muddled mainly because i don't understand the presentations. then i was puzzled by how the rest of the lab could keep up with the presenters and grill them with questions/ offer them suggestions as the day stretched into the evening. then it was a phase of depression as my colleagues mull over the streak of expt failures that the lab was experiencing.
my lab hasn't been able to clone anything lately, and cloning is supposed to be the most basic of biochem expts. they found the first problem; it was the water that the lab was using. but the problem persisted, despite them switching to an ultra expensive kit that costs GBP600 for 20 reactions. imagine the frustration of 3 post-docs and one phd student trying to clone something that is supposedly not complicated at all. imagine the puzzlement when more complicated expts are working fine.
on the other hand, i am in awe of the knowledge of some of the people at the meeting. the five presentations we had today were on different topics and involved different techniques, but the two young PIs (only in their early thirties at most) at the meeting seem to know so much that they were able to offer suggestions and advice on all of them. i wonder if i could be a PI one day. if i could, at what age. in the uk, you are given a maximum of 6 years of post-doc position to prove yourself worthy of a PI position. otherwise, you will have to think of an alternative career.
i think i am not imaginative enough to be a good scientist, yet. i think i lack the innovation. i need to daydream crazy ideas, find ways to test them, and bang my way through the blips along the way to persevere to the end.
but first, i need to sort out the muddle in my head. i need to stop being so easily muddled.
the lab at picnic during lunch
colleague 1: are you going to the lab? can you get me some ethanol? 96% ethanol, 400ml.
colleague 2: ok...i thought we are going for lunch?
colleague 1: ya. i am going to barbecue the chorizo i brought.
colleague 2: ok...i thought we are going for lunch?
colleague 1: ya. i am going to barbecue the chorizo i brought.
sometimes i wonder if i really want to be a PI
Thursday, July 24, 2008
The Malaysian Identity
this few weeks in oxford has made me more aware of my Malaysian identity than never before. it is because I am surrounded by internationals both at work and at where I am staying now. I am staying at the commonwealth house, which provides accommodation to international visitors to oxford. a typical conversation with people I just met goes like this: I say my name, then I answer the questions where I am from and what I am doing in oxford. then they will enquire about Malaysia, if they vaguely know where the country is or have been for a visit. otherwise, I will feel obliged to tell them something about Malaysia after they have shared about their own countries.
my lab is an incredibly cosmopolitan one. there are 9 of us currently in oxford- the remaining half of the lab is still in London. in the 9, there are 4 british, 1 portuguese, 1 italian, 1 french, 1 new Zealander and 1 malaysian. over our many meals in a day together ( morning coffee, lunch , afternoon tea, and sometimes after-work pub outing… it’s amazing how this lab still publishes papers), the different accents compare how things are in their respective countries, from the weather to scientific practices like wearing labcoats in the lab. during lunch today, we discussed what food to bring for the upcoming lab meeting. it seems expected that we each will be bringing our ‘national dish’. I would have said nasi lemak if i really had to. anyway, it seems like we are going to have the English roast lamb with rosemary and the Portuguese rabbit in port for lunch on the day of the lab meeting. and it seems like we will be having a different type of typically English biscuits for tea each week in the coming weeks because many of us don’t know about them. yesterday, we talked about weddings; the day before we talked about taking driving tests… scientists are ordinary people you see… =)
through the many conversations I have had, I think Malaysians (or Singaporeans for that matter) should not have more difficulty than other Europeans when it comes to settling down in the UK. the continental Europeans are as different from the british as are Asians to the ‘angmohs’. perhaps I am really slow in realizing this. in fact, Malaysians ( and Singaporeans) should be able to adjust more easily because we speak ‘very good english’ and are exposed to much more british culture than we are aware of.
also, I have realized that being Malaysian allows you to identify with people from china, India, and sometimes the middle east as well. for instance, the prc Chinese are often amazed to find that you have a Chinese name and can speak mandarin. since you speak mandarin, they will start inviting you to the social events for Chinese people (which refers to people from china). the Indians I have met have been pleasantly surprised that I could name and describe some of their Indian dishes like the roti canai, which they called prata (so roti prata is the more accurate name for this dough-y thing), and that we have tamil vernacular schools. and the middle easterns all know about petronas.
the malaysian culture is rich and therefore-dare I say- popular. a conversation with an English missionary who was based in KL earlier today set me thinking: what good will it do to the nation, then, if the government still plays by divide-and-conquer tactics. oxford is vibrant because it welcomes internationals. what makes Malaysia if it alienates ethnics who are but Malaysians?
my lab is an incredibly cosmopolitan one. there are 9 of us currently in oxford- the remaining half of the lab is still in London. in the 9, there are 4 british, 1 portuguese, 1 italian, 1 french, 1 new Zealander and 1 malaysian. over our many meals in a day together ( morning coffee, lunch , afternoon tea, and sometimes after-work pub outing… it’s amazing how this lab still publishes papers), the different accents compare how things are in their respective countries, from the weather to scientific practices like wearing labcoats in the lab. during lunch today, we discussed what food to bring for the upcoming lab meeting. it seems expected that we each will be bringing our ‘national dish’. I would have said nasi lemak if i really had to. anyway, it seems like we are going to have the English roast lamb with rosemary and the Portuguese rabbit in port for lunch on the day of the lab meeting. and it seems like we will be having a different type of typically English biscuits for tea each week in the coming weeks because many of us don’t know about them. yesterday, we talked about weddings; the day before we talked about taking driving tests… scientists are ordinary people you see… =)
through the many conversations I have had, I think Malaysians (or Singaporeans for that matter) should not have more difficulty than other Europeans when it comes to settling down in the UK. the continental Europeans are as different from the british as are Asians to the ‘angmohs’. perhaps I am really slow in realizing this. in fact, Malaysians ( and Singaporeans) should be able to adjust more easily because we speak ‘very good english’ and are exposed to much more british culture than we are aware of.
also, I have realized that being Malaysian allows you to identify with people from china, India, and sometimes the middle east as well. for instance, the prc Chinese are often amazed to find that you have a Chinese name and can speak mandarin. since you speak mandarin, they will start inviting you to the social events for Chinese people (which refers to people from china). the Indians I have met have been pleasantly surprised that I could name and describe some of their Indian dishes like the roti canai, which they called prata (so roti prata is the more accurate name for this dough-y thing), and that we have tamil vernacular schools. and the middle easterns all know about petronas.
the malaysian culture is rich and therefore-dare I say- popular. a conversation with an English missionary who was based in KL earlier today set me thinking: what good will it do to the nation, then, if the government still plays by divide-and-conquer tactics. oxford is vibrant because it welcomes internationals. what makes Malaysia if it alienates ethnics who are but Malaysians?
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Tripos Epilogue
i have envisaged this for a long time, and it has materialized =). here I am at café nero at 7 in the morning, sipping a nice cup of mocha =). the streets are still quiet, and it was bliss dashing down the empty streets on a bike, hoping to be the first customer at the café. I didn’t make it in time; I was third. but it doesn’t matter =)
and so the grueling 2-week long tripos ended yesterday. I made it, but I know it was solely by Grace that I made it through.
The Stress
the tension started building up since the beginning of easter hols. by 2 weeks into easter term i think the stress had taken it’s toll. I became very irritable, and anything that I thought was taking longer than it should was a waste of my time. and so, I became grumpy when I had to wait in the queue at Sainsbury, when I had taken too long to choose which box of cereal to buy, when lecturers weren’t making sense during lectures, when X-gal staining needed an hour’s incubation. I even walked out of a supervision because I thought my supervisor was waffling. I didn’t even go around taking pictures of the blossoms, the tulips, the roses when they first bloomed…
but there was cg, up till week 4, just a week before my exams. and I am the new cg leader. when we were briefed by joel the cf president, I was overwhelmed with the responsibilities lay ahead, especially in exam term! I have always struggled to keep my walk with God during exam time, as my heart and mind are always in such chaos that it is nearly impossible to keep still to listen. I know I would never be able to lead a cg in such a state. to lead means to encourage others, to keep them in prayer, to make sure the exam stress and fury doesn’t take over our fellowship and our dependence on God.
and so wanlin and I set out plans, prayed about them, and re-prayed about them again and again. and miraculously, we sustained cooking dinner, bible study and worship, and prayer pointers for all 4 sessions with volunteered help from the cg. that was awesome =)
Sacrifices for Friends
we read about having to make sacrifices in friendships in one of the bible study sessions, and we contemplated what defines a sacrifice. to sacrifice is to give up something that is most precious to you. so, giving chocolates to a friend isn’t a sacrifice; giving your last cup of rice to your neighbour in a disaster zone is sacrifice. and so for me, as time is most precious in exam term, to sacrifice is to take time to listen to those who needed a listening ear and to encourage those who needed encouragement.
mabel and shu-en have been very good role models to me in this. their room is always open to anyone who needed someone to visit. and their ears too, to anyone who needed listening ears. on every saturday night throughout the term, they will invite just anybody who would drop by for dessert or dinner, for unwinding after a week’s of hard work. why, the duo even made me a cake on my birthday, when it was so close to their own exams!
The Grace
I spoke about the Grace that sustained me. in material terms, Grace manifested as loving parents. I had at least 18 smses, one before and after each of my 9 papers from my dad to assure me that the family is keeping me in prayer. all 18 were sent out at the correct time, meaning my dad kept track of my exam timetable, even when he was abroad in china. Grace also manifested as a strong fellowship with the cg. when I was in full panic mode just before plants paper 1 last wed night, I msged sam to pray for me. he did and assured me he would continue till the end of my exam.
most importantly, Grace manifested in God’s word itself. he kept the Bible, in which He said ‘ Behold, I am God… is there anything too difficult for Me?’ in jeremiah 32:27. then I understood why some of my material is so complex. it is because they try to capture the wondrous workings of an all-powerful God. learning science has only made me more firmly believe in creation. Grace has also manifested as peace and rest in God Himself. i now know why there is a Sabbath day. it is so that people can be renewed in energy and spirits in their work.
last year, I spoke about removing the cup of tripos from me in my post-tripos entry. I still had the cups this year, but it was filled with something new.
Roses
on 23rd may when i had my first paper-- plant prac
on 6th june when i finished my last --bmb prac =)
and so the grueling 2-week long tripos ended yesterday. I made it, but I know it was solely by Grace that I made it through.
The Stress
the tension started building up since the beginning of easter hols. by 2 weeks into easter term i think the stress had taken it’s toll. I became very irritable, and anything that I thought was taking longer than it should was a waste of my time. and so, I became grumpy when I had to wait in the queue at Sainsbury, when I had taken too long to choose which box of cereal to buy, when lecturers weren’t making sense during lectures, when X-gal staining needed an hour’s incubation. I even walked out of a supervision because I thought my supervisor was waffling. I didn’t even go around taking pictures of the blossoms, the tulips, the roses when they first bloomed…
but there was cg, up till week 4, just a week before my exams. and I am the new cg leader. when we were briefed by joel the cf president, I was overwhelmed with the responsibilities lay ahead, especially in exam term! I have always struggled to keep my walk with God during exam time, as my heart and mind are always in such chaos that it is nearly impossible to keep still to listen. I know I would never be able to lead a cg in such a state. to lead means to encourage others, to keep them in prayer, to make sure the exam stress and fury doesn’t take over our fellowship and our dependence on God.
and so wanlin and I set out plans, prayed about them, and re-prayed about them again and again. and miraculously, we sustained cooking dinner, bible study and worship, and prayer pointers for all 4 sessions with volunteered help from the cg. that was awesome =)
Sacrifices for Friends
we read about having to make sacrifices in friendships in one of the bible study sessions, and we contemplated what defines a sacrifice. to sacrifice is to give up something that is most precious to you. so, giving chocolates to a friend isn’t a sacrifice; giving your last cup of rice to your neighbour in a disaster zone is sacrifice. and so for me, as time is most precious in exam term, to sacrifice is to take time to listen to those who needed a listening ear and to encourage those who needed encouragement.
mabel and shu-en have been very good role models to me in this. their room is always open to anyone who needed someone to visit. and their ears too, to anyone who needed listening ears. on every saturday night throughout the term, they will invite just anybody who would drop by for dessert or dinner, for unwinding after a week’s of hard work. why, the duo even made me a cake on my birthday, when it was so close to their own exams!
The Grace
I spoke about the Grace that sustained me. in material terms, Grace manifested as loving parents. I had at least 18 smses, one before and after each of my 9 papers from my dad to assure me that the family is keeping me in prayer. all 18 were sent out at the correct time, meaning my dad kept track of my exam timetable, even when he was abroad in china. Grace also manifested as a strong fellowship with the cg. when I was in full panic mode just before plants paper 1 last wed night, I msged sam to pray for me. he did and assured me he would continue till the end of my exam.
most importantly, Grace manifested in God’s word itself. he kept the Bible, in which He said ‘ Behold, I am God… is there anything too difficult for Me?’ in jeremiah 32:27. then I understood why some of my material is so complex. it is because they try to capture the wondrous workings of an all-powerful God. learning science has only made me more firmly believe in creation. Grace has also manifested as peace and rest in God Himself. i now know why there is a Sabbath day. it is so that people can be renewed in energy and spirits in their work.
last year, I spoke about removing the cup of tripos from me in my post-tripos entry. I still had the cups this year, but it was filled with something new.
Roses
on 23rd may when i had my first paper-- plant prac
on 6th june when i finished my last --bmb prac =)Thursday, June 05, 2008
MSN Snapshots
'here we go Q.E.D.'
hmm.. don't quite understand this
' jia you people!'
encouragement from one who has reached the finish line
'One last paper to go. Hanging on for another 24h.'
encouragement from one who is running with me.
'OH MY TIAN...can this day get any worse? 2X faulty microscopes for path EXAM, cant finish CDB and my kitchen on FIRE?! ahhhhhhhh '
clearly a sign of distress. i didn't finish mine too... does that help ease the tension?
'for the life ahead- missing a piece of himself '
the thought of someone motivates him.
'byebye undergrad life. sigh'
a veteran by now.
'Don't be afraid of exam, it means you'll have another trip like this before the next one..=)..dedicated to my ski buddies.. '
think happy thoughts. this reminds me of 'my favourite things' from the sound of music
'I actually love pathology'
self-discovery during the race?
'2 hours of sleep in 50 hours.'
he must have really been in the panic mode he described last monday.
'lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalal'
erm... this is self-explanatory?
today is the 2nd last day of my 1B Tripos. there is no denial about the exhaustion.
'with all my MIGHT, and the MIGHT of my God- I WILL GET THROUGH THIS'
p/s: i hope the people from whom i have quoted above wouldn't mind the plagiarism. or i can put your name at the end of your words to give you full credit to it =) just drop me a note
hmm.. don't quite understand this
' jia you people!'
encouragement from one who has reached the finish line
'One last paper to go. Hanging on for another 24h.'
encouragement from one who is running with me.
'OH MY TIAN...can this day get any worse? 2X faulty microscopes for path EXAM, cant finish CDB and my kitchen on FIRE?! ahhhhhhhh '
clearly a sign of distress. i didn't finish mine too... does that help ease the tension?
'for the life ahead- missing a piece of himself '
the thought of someone motivates him.
'byebye undergrad life. sigh'
a veteran by now.
'Don't be afraid of exam, it means you'll have another trip like this before the next one..=)..dedicated to my ski buddies.. '
think happy thoughts. this reminds me of 'my favourite things' from the sound of music
'I actually love pathology'
self-discovery during the race?
'2 hours of sleep in 50 hours.'
he must have really been in the panic mode he described last monday.
'lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalal'
erm... this is self-explanatory?
today is the 2nd last day of my 1B Tripos. there is no denial about the exhaustion.
'with all my MIGHT, and the MIGHT of my God- I WILL GET THROUGH THIS'
p/s: i hope the people from whom i have quoted above wouldn't mind the plagiarism. or i can put your name at the end of your words to give you full credit to it =) just drop me a note
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
It is past 5am in KL now
on the 23rd of May 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
=D=D=D
haha! i sort of planned this post a long time ago. now that i finally get to write it, it all seems surreal.
i am 21, and i am going to take my first Tripos 1B paper
'Pray that we will learn to delight in God’s creation, and never stop thanking Him for it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
=D=D=D
haha! i sort of planned this post a long time ago. now that i finally get to write it, it all seems surreal.
i am 21, and i am going to take my first Tripos 1B paper
'Pray that we will learn to delight in God’s creation, and never stop thanking Him for it.
That we will know how to use and enjoy the good things He has given us responsibly.
That even in the little things and small pleasures of the day, we will be thanking God for the joys these bring. '
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Passing Ramblings...
the daffodils came and went
so did the tulips, which were of a different colour from last year's.
it is now the season of the roses, and they are blooming just beneath my windows.
my last lecture of the year ended at 12 this afternoon, and that marked the end of official lessons of my 2nd year in camb. it was a plant lecture on GM crops. it reminded me of how science is directly relevant to the society, how knowledge is power for changing public opinion.
i sat along king's parade to people-watch last saturday, after my plant lecture. i see tourists snapping away at the magnificent king's college chapel, and see the graduates walking into senate house in their smart robes, with family members beaming alongside.
one day i will be both, both the graduate and the tourist, who cannot resist snapping away because she loves this place so much.
so did the tulips, which were of a different colour from last year's.
it is now the season of the roses, and they are blooming just beneath my windows.
my last lecture of the year ended at 12 this afternoon, and that marked the end of official lessons of my 2nd year in camb. it was a plant lecture on GM crops. it reminded me of how science is directly relevant to the society, how knowledge is power for changing public opinion.
i sat along king's parade to people-watch last saturday, after my plant lecture. i see tourists snapping away at the magnificent king's college chapel, and see the graduates walking into senate house in their smart robes, with family members beaming alongside.
one day i will be both, both the graduate and the tourist, who cannot resist snapping away because she loves this place so much.
I Cry Many Times in a Year
but there is always this once in may that is different.
it is when i read john's writing. his words are so sincere, that i can hear his voice.
i miss him, really. always.
it is when i read john's writing. his words are so sincere, that i can hear his voice.
i miss him, really. always.
Friday, April 11, 2008
I Know I Have Grown
when i can handle rejections.
and when disappointments do not translate into depression.
thank you mum and dad for your concerns =)
and when disappointments do not translate into depression.
thank you mum and dad for your concerns =)
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Little Acts of Kindness
little acts of kindness like these make my day =)
today i came back to my room to find my rubbish bin cleared, my carpet vacuumed,and my sink scrubbed to sparkly cleanness! the bedder must have come by for the termly cleaning. sometimes i am envious of friends whose college still has the full bedder service, i.e. the bedder comes by to vacuum your floor, scrub your sink, change your sheets (!) and clear your bin, at least on a weekly basis. contrast this to magd bedders who only clear my bin if i put it out in the morning.
it's not that i am lazy or that i have been living in a mess before the bedder came by today; it's just this nice feeling of being taken care of that i miss, especially when work is stressing me out and i am missing home.
well to be fair, magd has quite good supporting service.in the last lent term, my personal desk lamp stopped working one day. the replacement bulb-S i bought from sains all wouldn't make it work again. so i went to the clerk of works to see if he would be willing to help me. you see, the lamp is my own, not a college property, and it is a different kind from the ones that the college provides, so the clerk of works really has all the reasons for not helping. but he did =) on the expense of his television! he found that the fuse of my lamp was broken. he didn't have a spare one at that moment so he took the one from his tv to fit into my lamp! i was so touched!
and there is also the computing office and bob the handyman. the last time my laptop broke down, the guy from the computing office spent hours to find out what's wrong with it. he then gave me advice on how to get it repaired. then bob the handyman helped me searched the stores for a suitably sized box fot mailing my laptop to the manufacturer.
such little acts of kindness are especially cherishable in times of distressed =)
people in general like being taken care of =)
today i came back to my room to find my rubbish bin cleared, my carpet vacuumed,and my sink scrubbed to sparkly cleanness! the bedder must have come by for the termly cleaning. sometimes i am envious of friends whose college still has the full bedder service, i.e. the bedder comes by to vacuum your floor, scrub your sink, change your sheets (!) and clear your bin, at least on a weekly basis. contrast this to magd bedders who only clear my bin if i put it out in the morning.
it's not that i am lazy or that i have been living in a mess before the bedder came by today; it's just this nice feeling of being taken care of that i miss, especially when work is stressing me out and i am missing home.
well to be fair, magd has quite good supporting service.in the last lent term, my personal desk lamp stopped working one day. the replacement bulb-S i bought from sains all wouldn't make it work again. so i went to the clerk of works to see if he would be willing to help me. you see, the lamp is my own, not a college property, and it is a different kind from the ones that the college provides, so the clerk of works really has all the reasons for not helping. but he did =) on the expense of his television! he found that the fuse of my lamp was broken. he didn't have a spare one at that moment so he took the one from his tv to fit into my lamp! i was so touched!
and there is also the computing office and bob the handyman. the last time my laptop broke down, the guy from the computing office spent hours to find out what's wrong with it. he then gave me advice on how to get it repaired. then bob the handyman helped me searched the stores for a suitably sized box fot mailing my laptop to the manufacturer.
such little acts of kindness are especially cherishable in times of distressed =)
people in general like being taken care of =)
Sunday, March 30, 2008
White Bread
reminds me of home.
i have never bought white bread for myself; the loaf of white bread that i have now was not bought for my own, which is why i bought it in the first place.
eating it with margarine alone reminds me of breakfast at home. when was the last time i chewed on white bread covered with creamy yellow margarine? i have insisted that it is almost as unhealthy as breakfast can get, with nothing else but refined carbs and fat.
but ah, i couldn't resist spreading a slice of white bread with creamy yellow margarine just now, to fold it into half and to eat it on its own. no tomatoes, no lettuce, no tuna. just bread and margarine. white bread and creamy yellow margarine.
i have never bought white bread for myself; the loaf of white bread that i have now was not bought for my own, which is why i bought it in the first place.
eating it with margarine alone reminds me of breakfast at home. when was the last time i chewed on white bread covered with creamy yellow margarine? i have insisted that it is almost as unhealthy as breakfast can get, with nothing else but refined carbs and fat.
but ah, i couldn't resist spreading a slice of white bread with creamy yellow margarine just now, to fold it into half and to eat it on its own. no tomatoes, no lettuce, no tuna. just bread and margarine. white bread and creamy yellow margarine.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Divide to Multiply
ron laskey asks why cancer is so uncommon, citing that it takes only a few out of the 10000 trillion cells in the body to be 'anti-social' for tumour formation. he directs us to the rigorous checkpoints that control the cell cycle.
robin hesketh asks why cancer is so common, citing that it takes multiple mutations for a cell to be immortalised and transformed to become cancerous. he directs us to the accumulation of mutations with each cell cycle.
the same cell cycle and checkpoint controls, but evaluated differently.
it is like asking whether the glass is half full or half empty. people will tell you the answer depends on whether you are an optimist or pessimist.
similarly, a situation can be seen in two different lights.
i know that when God closes a door, He opens another. or maybe He rather that i stay in the same room and not go anywhere. but the point is, i can see the situation from contrasting viewpoints, but He only sees one-- He sees what is best for me.
robin hesketh asks why cancer is so common, citing that it takes multiple mutations for a cell to be immortalised and transformed to become cancerous. he directs us to the accumulation of mutations with each cell cycle.
the same cell cycle and checkpoint controls, but evaluated differently.
it is like asking whether the glass is half full or half empty. people will tell you the answer depends on whether you are an optimist or pessimist.
similarly, a situation can be seen in two different lights.
i know that when God closes a door, He opens another. or maybe He rather that i stay in the same room and not go anywhere. but the point is, i can see the situation from contrasting viewpoints, but He only sees one-- He sees what is best for me.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
This Easter
it didn't snow in christmas, even when i was in the alps; it is snowing now on easter day, just when we all thought camb will not see snow this year.
i like watching the snow fall, and seeing it slowly coat everything in fluffy white. i see the red brick lutyens topped with snow icing, and the winding path in front of mallory covered with snow dust, all just through my huge window panes. it is snowing outside, yet i am inside, warm and protected, watching the flakes fall to the ground.
it is easter today, and i thank the Lord that i still remember the true significance of this day. it is like being grateful that i can partake the holy communion, that i am bought by the sacrifice of Jesus and am now a part of the larger body of Christ.
i am not perfect, in fact far from perfect. my mind harbours selfish thoughts, jealousy and even evil aspirations, no matter how much i am ashamed of them myself. yet my Lord has willingly stood in my place for all the guilt and shame that i ought to be bearing. He has taken from me the yoke which i couldn't have carried even with all my strength.
i am a child of God. my relaationship with my Creator has been restored. i have eternal hope, and may i dwell in the house of the Lord forever. amen.
i like watching the snow fall, and seeing it slowly coat everything in fluffy white. i see the red brick lutyens topped with snow icing, and the winding path in front of mallory covered with snow dust, all just through my huge window panes. it is snowing outside, yet i am inside, warm and protected, watching the flakes fall to the ground.
it is easter today, and i thank the Lord that i still remember the true significance of this day. it is like being grateful that i can partake the holy communion, that i am bought by the sacrifice of Jesus and am now a part of the larger body of Christ.
i am not perfect, in fact far from perfect. my mind harbours selfish thoughts, jealousy and even evil aspirations, no matter how much i am ashamed of them myself. yet my Lord has willingly stood in my place for all the guilt and shame that i ought to be bearing. He has taken from me the yoke which i couldn't have carried even with all my strength.
i am a child of God. my relaationship with my Creator has been restored. i have eternal hope, and may i dwell in the house of the Lord forever. amen.
lutyens in snow cover
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
it's john's birthday tomorrow; he'll be 18!
it was mum's birthday last sun; she's one year closer to 50.
i am 20 going to 21...
should have grown up by now, but i am still very much emotionally-attached to home.
it has been close to 6 years now staying away from home, but have i learn to be as strong as i should have been?
how would i ever cope without my family
it was mum's birthday last sun; she's one year closer to 50.
i am 20 going to 21...
should have grown up by now, but i am still very much emotionally-attached to home.
it has been close to 6 years now staying away from home, but have i learn to be as strong as i should have been?
how would i ever cope without my family
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
The Many Privileges
camb indeed offers many privileges. our lecturers just cannot fail to mention that so and so who discovered such was a student/member of the department 'working in the lab just around the corner'. our supervision groups are small, sometimes led by the professors themsleves, who always assure us that they are just an email away if we need to ask any questions.
it is not until recently that it dawned upon me that the same privileges extend into personal, and spiritual, development. the veritas forum that started last friday saw many distinguished speakers wrestling with difficult, sometimes even uncomfortable, discussion topics with a socially-engaged and intellectually sharp audience. there was a baroness who spoke about religious freedom, and the president of tearfund who spoke on social pluralism; tonight alister mcgrath ( or perhaps more well-known as dawkins' nemesis) speaks on gospel as public truth.
i wish i had read dawkins' books, so that i can grasp better mcgrath's talk tonight. i foresee i will be rapidly lost in the course of the discussion because there will be many people in the audience who have read dawkins. still, i think i should go for the talk, as such an opportunity to learn from both the speaker and the audience is hard to come-by.
opportunities abound, the true lesson remains to be learning with an open mind and a humble heart. don't we pay more respect to lecturers or authoratative figures who speak gently and humbly, even in areas of their expertise?
'Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry'
p/s: if anyone is interested, alister mcgrath's talk is at 8pm tonight (4th march) at babbage lecture theatre.
it is not until recently that it dawned upon me that the same privileges extend into personal, and spiritual, development. the veritas forum that started last friday saw many distinguished speakers wrestling with difficult, sometimes even uncomfortable, discussion topics with a socially-engaged and intellectually sharp audience. there was a baroness who spoke about religious freedom, and the president of tearfund who spoke on social pluralism; tonight alister mcgrath ( or perhaps more well-known as dawkins' nemesis) speaks on gospel as public truth.
i wish i had read dawkins' books, so that i can grasp better mcgrath's talk tonight. i foresee i will be rapidly lost in the course of the discussion because there will be many people in the audience who have read dawkins. still, i think i should go for the talk, as such an opportunity to learn from both the speaker and the audience is hard to come-by.
opportunities abound, the true lesson remains to be learning with an open mind and a humble heart. don't we pay more respect to lecturers or authoratative figures who speak gently and humbly, even in areas of their expertise?
'Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry'
p/s: if anyone is interested, alister mcgrath's talk is at 8pm tonight (4th march) at babbage lecture theatre.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
When Everyone Screams for Motivation
"Dear all,
I still seem to be four essays short! 6 if you include last week's...."
an excerpt from the email sent by my bmb supervisor at 5.30pm earlier. the essay was due 5.00pm the day before. i just handed in mine 15 min ago. there were 4 of us in his supervision group...
three days ago, my cdb supervisor asked if we have read the 'light reading' (i.e. review articles that are at least 8 pages long) that he gave us the previous week. my supervision partner answered 'i flicked through it...' before the supervisor interupted in disbelief 'FLICKED THROUGH IT?' . he sort of pleaded us to read the articles with the words 'PLEASe, PLEASE read my presents ' at least three times during the one hour session.
he gave us another two presents before we left.
it is week 6 of lent term. struggling to catch up is the norm. i am not sure if i am looking forward to term ending though; i have 4 assessed practical writeups and an assessed presentation due just before the end of term. furthermore, end of lent marks easter, which co-incidentally starts with the same big E.
I still seem to be four essays short! 6 if you include last week's...."
an excerpt from the email sent by my bmb supervisor at 5.30pm earlier. the essay was due 5.00pm the day before. i just handed in mine 15 min ago. there were 4 of us in his supervision group...
three days ago, my cdb supervisor asked if we have read the 'light reading' (i.e. review articles that are at least 8 pages long) that he gave us the previous week. my supervision partner answered 'i flicked through it...' before the supervisor interupted in disbelief 'FLICKED THROUGH IT?' . he sort of pleaded us to read the articles with the words 'PLEASe, PLEASE read my presents ' at least three times during the one hour session.
he gave us another two presents before we left.
it is week 6 of lent term. struggling to catch up is the norm. i am not sure if i am looking forward to term ending though; i have 4 assessed practical writeups and an assessed presentation due just before the end of term. furthermore, end of lent marks easter, which co-incidentally starts with the same big E.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
A Weekend Spent with Friends
it was reinvigorating to be able to just get away from work for the weekend and just be in the company of great friends =)
it started on friday night with cg cny dinner part II. we had express steamboat, ie everything was cooked steamboat style in the pot on the hob, so that we could have the food faster. we had massive quantities of food; two pots of tomyum AND two pots chicken soup to share among the 6 of us. and of course, the big piles of bak kua which sean brought back from his weekend escapade to kuala lumpur.
on saturday, jyy mei came to camb. she hasn't changed much-- as glam as usual, but with a lot more exciting updates this time, haha!
we did the usual touristy things: punting and college visits. and i am embarrased to say that i just found out that the bridge just outside magd is the cam bridge that tsu zhi mo referred to in his famous poem. i cross that bridge everyday.
then we met mabel. the three of us were secondary school classmates.
in the evening, it was dinner with weishen, jinyang and his sis, and hongking before going to mnite.
mnite was good entertainment; a light-hearted evening that brought to memory all things malaysian, even the area overlooking the words SOUTH COURT at midvalley. the pontianak dance was good. i don't think it was provocative at all; it was like a ballet pas de duex to me. kenneith clearly did it again!
sun was spent in church/ grafton/ zara/ h&m with jyy mei. she tried to help me get an outfit for the cumsa ball next week. unfortunately, i was so picky that i ended up only getting a top for everyday wear. she, on the other hand, got a few bargains =)
after sending jyymei off the the train station, i rushed to sains and back to magd to cook for the astar pple. it was a gathering that i organised in the name of chinese new year. it was good to catch up with manu, and start having ideas about more random things nicole and i could do.
so it was a good weekend. i thank the Lord for placing wonderful people in my life to share the little joys of life =)
it started on friday night with cg cny dinner part II. we had express steamboat, ie everything was cooked steamboat style in the pot on the hob, so that we could have the food faster. we had massive quantities of food; two pots of tomyum AND two pots chicken soup to share among the 6 of us. and of course, the big piles of bak kua which sean brought back from his weekend escapade to kuala lumpur.
on saturday, jyy mei came to camb. she hasn't changed much-- as glam as usual, but with a lot more exciting updates this time, haha!
we did the usual touristy things: punting and college visits. and i am embarrased to say that i just found out that the bridge just outside magd is the cam bridge that tsu zhi mo referred to in his famous poem. i cross that bridge everyday.
then we met mabel. the three of us were secondary school classmates.
in the evening, it was dinner with weishen, jinyang and his sis, and hongking before going to mnite.
mnite was good entertainment; a light-hearted evening that brought to memory all things malaysian, even the area overlooking the words SOUTH COURT at midvalley. the pontianak dance was good. i don't think it was provocative at all; it was like a ballet pas de duex to me. kenneith clearly did it again!
sun was spent in church/ grafton/ zara/ h&m with jyy mei. she tried to help me get an outfit for the cumsa ball next week. unfortunately, i was so picky that i ended up only getting a top for everyday wear. she, on the other hand, got a few bargains =)
after sending jyymei off the the train station, i rushed to sains and back to magd to cook for the astar pple. it was a gathering that i organised in the name of chinese new year. it was good to catch up with manu, and start having ideas about more random things nicole and i could do.
so it was a good weekend. i thank the Lord for placing wonderful people in my life to share the little joys of life =)
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Tea
attended a tea tasting session with first class tea today. i don't usually drink tea as i prefer coffee, but i went anyway out of curiosity to why the english like their tea so much. it was disappointing at first because the teas that we were going to try were all asian teas, including the all too familiar oolong and pu erh. then i thought it was strange to drink asian teas in glasses, as i thought the tea set and the tea drinking ceremony were part and parcel of the tea drinking experience. nonetheless, the session turned out to be quite interesting, as i didn't know the taste of tea could be described as such before:
china jasmine white clouds (dong ding, fujian)
silver tea; the most highly recommended by will, the person who led the session. incidently, it was the most expensive one we had today, as it is retailed at GBP20 per 100g. jasmine-scented, delicate and light.
organic green darjeeling risheehat (india)
so i learnt that green tea is black tea before the latter gets fermented. the best teas are grown without pesticides because the chemicals will affect the taste of the tea. this particular tea was described as fishy/ seaweedy o.O
organic china oolong
oolong means semi-fermented tea, which is the intermediate between green and black. this is done through tossing the tea leaves such that their edges are bruised and start fermenting there. it was described as woody, smoky, intruguing/ confusing. ironically enough, it is thought to aid clarity of thought and the orange oolong (i.e. orange-flavoured(!)) was the best business tea at first class tea.
japan bancha houjicha
this is roasted sheng cha, meaning the tea leaves are unprocessed as far as it is possible. it's scent reminded me of mai xiang cha. some people thought it was seaweedy (again?!).
xiaguan pu erh tuo cha 2006 (yunnan, china)
this tea has to be matured in a brick, hence the date that shows its year of produce, just like wine. some people described it as 'earthy', like 'kicking up autumn leaves in the woods'- such romantic notions, no wonder it created a commodity bubble not too long ago. also, victoria beckham claimed that pu erh was her secret to staying slim.
abali vrikshayurvedic (arunachal pradesh, india)
the least popular tea of the night. people thought it tasted like rubber. some thought it smelled like chocholate. i thought it was drinkable, just a stronger version of the bancha earlier. oh, this tea was pinkish in colour.
sikkim temi
most people like this one. they described it with all the positive adjectives- honey-like, flowery, armchair tea, even 'a hug from the tea'! i think people are fond with it because it tastes very much like the typical 'english tea', which most of the time is black tea. this tea reminds me of BOH tea from cameron highlands.
rose claire, scented white tea
the name explains the tea. 'claire' was after will's fiancee, to whom he just recently got engaged to. his opinion on the tea: creamy, like turkish delight in a glass.
overall, it was an interesting session with tea. oh, i also learnt that people can get tea drunk on too much tea. apparently this is due to hypoglycaemia, as some types of tea like oolong and pu erh have blood glucose lowering effects. does this justify the all the sugar-loaded cookies and cakes that accompanied the tea session today? i think i have had too much tea in one session, and the acid is giving me a gastric...
china jasmine white clouds (dong ding, fujian)
silver tea; the most highly recommended by will, the person who led the session. incidently, it was the most expensive one we had today, as it is retailed at GBP20 per 100g. jasmine-scented, delicate and light.
organic green darjeeling risheehat (india)
so i learnt that green tea is black tea before the latter gets fermented. the best teas are grown without pesticides because the chemicals will affect the taste of the tea. this particular tea was described as fishy/ seaweedy o.O
organic china oolong
oolong means semi-fermented tea, which is the intermediate between green and black. this is done through tossing the tea leaves such that their edges are bruised and start fermenting there. it was described as woody, smoky, intruguing/ confusing. ironically enough, it is thought to aid clarity of thought and the orange oolong (i.e. orange-flavoured(!)) was the best business tea at first class tea.
japan bancha houjicha
this is roasted sheng cha, meaning the tea leaves are unprocessed as far as it is possible. it's scent reminded me of mai xiang cha. some people thought it was seaweedy (again?!).
xiaguan pu erh tuo cha 2006 (yunnan, china)
this tea has to be matured in a brick, hence the date that shows its year of produce, just like wine. some people described it as 'earthy', like 'kicking up autumn leaves in the woods'- such romantic notions, no wonder it created a commodity bubble not too long ago. also, victoria beckham claimed that pu erh was her secret to staying slim.
abali vrikshayurvedic (arunachal pradesh, india)
the least popular tea of the night. people thought it tasted like rubber. some thought it smelled like chocholate. i thought it was drinkable, just a stronger version of the bancha earlier. oh, this tea was pinkish in colour.
sikkim temi
most people like this one. they described it with all the positive adjectives- honey-like, flowery, armchair tea, even 'a hug from the tea'! i think people are fond with it because it tastes very much like the typical 'english tea', which most of the time is black tea. this tea reminds me of BOH tea from cameron highlands.
rose claire, scented white tea
the name explains the tea. 'claire' was after will's fiancee, to whom he just recently got engaged to. his opinion on the tea: creamy, like turkish delight in a glass.
overall, it was an interesting session with tea. oh, i also learnt that people can get tea drunk on too much tea. apparently this is due to hypoglycaemia, as some types of tea like oolong and pu erh have blood glucose lowering effects. does this justify the all the sugar-loaded cookies and cakes that accompanied the tea session today? i think i have had too much tea in one session, and the acid is giving me a gastric...
Monday, February 11, 2008
1 Corinthians 13:4
coincidentally or not, is the verse of the the day on biblegateway.
to love someone like you is ordinary.
to love someone unlike you is extraordinary.
to love someone who hates you is revolutionary.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
to love someone like you is ordinary.
to love someone unlike you is extraordinary.
to love someone who hates you is revolutionary.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Halfway Hall
the dinner marked the middle of my time as an undergraduate in magdalene college. at the end of the dinner, the master gave a speech. he recounted how he first met all of us in the same hall on the morning of our matriculation, to tell us the history and architecture of the college, and to tell us that we were a group of 'extraordinary young people' and that we were 'academically promising'.
the master went on to remind us that the second half of our time will only pass quicker, if we thought the first was already too quick, and he warned us against complacency. to further illustrate his point on complacency, he told us a story:
a crow was sitting on the tree doing nothing. a rabbit came along, saw the crow and asked,'can i sit and do nothing all day long just like you?' the crow answered,'yea, why not?'. so the rabbit stopped hopping, sat beneath the tree and did nothing, just like the crow. a fox came along and ate the rabbit.
the moral of the story: if you want to sit around and do nothing, make sure you are sitting somewhere high up.
naturally, the hall applauded the master; he was as eloquent in his speech as always.
now, the expectation to be 'extraordinary young people' who are 'academically promising' and much more-- the Lord will complete the work He has begun in me, amen.
the master went on to remind us that the second half of our time will only pass quicker, if we thought the first was already too quick, and he warned us against complacency. to further illustrate his point on complacency, he told us a story:
a crow was sitting on the tree doing nothing. a rabbit came along, saw the crow and asked,'can i sit and do nothing all day long just like you?' the crow answered,'yea, why not?'. so the rabbit stopped hopping, sat beneath the tree and did nothing, just like the crow. a fox came along and ate the rabbit.
the moral of the story: if you want to sit around and do nothing, make sure you are sitting somewhere high up.
naturally, the hall applauded the master; he was as eloquent in his speech as always.
now, the expectation to be 'extraordinary young people' who are 'academically promising' and much more-- the Lord will complete the work He has begun in me, amen.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Last Post on Perspectives
and i'll have to move on with my life.
a big thank you to those who have supported the show in one way or another:
my mummy who got nicole and i our costumes-- we each have two sets of those pants, though we only wore one for all the five nights; weishen and daniel who consistently helped me book bowett room for practice; jinyang and ryan who cooked dinner throughout the holidays for nicole and i before our rehearsals; jinyang and ryan who had to walk me back from queens' after my night rehearsals; and all the people who came to watch the show-- yaoyu, huixin, joe, mabel, shu-en, shuangning, kelvin, haihan, kimberle, jasmin, weevien, alex, ben koh, eugene, ee mae, darryl, sean, angel, kathy, livia, kaier, and people whom i didn't meet backstage but was among the audience
THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH =)
a big thank you to those who have supported the show in one way or another:
my mummy who got nicole and i our costumes-- we each have two sets of those pants, though we only wore one for all the five nights; weishen and daniel who consistently helped me book bowett room for practice; jinyang and ryan who cooked dinner throughout the holidays for nicole and i before our rehearsals; jinyang and ryan who had to walk me back from queens' after my night rehearsals; and all the people who came to watch the show-- yaoyu, huixin, joe, mabel, shu-en, shuangning, kelvin, haihan, kimberle, jasmin, weevien, alex, ben koh, eugene, ee mae, darryl, sean, angel, kathy, livia, kaier, and people whom i didn't meet backstage but was among the audience
THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH =)
small fight, BIG BIG LOVE
the last show didn't end with a bang-- nicole and i slipped at the very beginning (though no one noticed except kaier), and the bow was too short for sentiments to build up. but that didn't mar the whole experience! nicole and i had given our bestest best, and i am almost sure that all her glycogen reserves in her right arm must have been exhausted from me leaning on her and she swinging me around, hah!
the piece we shared 'small fight big love', or as we more fondly knew it as duelling banjos, was well-received all five nights. the very first time we presented it to the cambridge population at the wip, we were the only item that received an applause, and i just loved how the audience went 'aaawwwwww' at the end when nicole and i came back together into the hug =) and weren't we flattered when netta, a brilliant choregrapher herself, came up to us in the dressing room and said. 'are you in kai's piece? that is my favourite!' yesterday, she added that kai's piece has 'all the elements that i think a good piece should have', hehe!
most of the credit for the success of' *ahem* our piece (please forgive this shameless pride that is overflowing in me) goes to kaier, whose style in dance really played to our strength. we weren't the best dancers around; in fact we were far from the standards of the many. but we stood out because the piece was fresh, ingenious, 'clever' (from anthony leung), which led it to distingush itself from the pieces with 'pointy toes'. quoting VARSITY:
=DD brlliant! just that it wasn't from sweden but singapore! from the astar studio in biopolis! it was that fateful day that nicole and were bored and went to the studio after work to try out some steps when this girl with five colours in her hair and a nose ring invaded the studio. she was practising her own steps and after watching a while, nicole and i thought 'she is GOOD!' then somehow we found out that she was from camb and from CUCDW! soon enough, we were having 7am rehearsals, many many brusies on our backs, and many many inspirations for creativity in dancing and DRESSING! heh!
we soon left singapore but practice for duelling banjos continued in the frosty mornings in benson hall, through the dark winter nights in magdalene squah court, buckingham, and the glorious queens' bowett. and finally finally, it was wrapped up with compliments and applause at the adc =)=)
the piece we shared 'small fight big love', or as we more fondly knew it as duelling banjos, was well-received all five nights. the very first time we presented it to the cambridge population at the wip, we were the only item that received an applause, and i just loved how the audience went 'aaawwwwww' at the end when nicole and i came back together into the hug =) and weren't we flattered when netta, a brilliant choregrapher herself, came up to us in the dressing room and said. 'are you in kai's piece? that is my favourite!' yesterday, she added that kai's piece has 'all the elements that i think a good piece should have', hehe!
most of the credit for the success of' *ahem* our piece (please forgive this shameless pride that is overflowing in me) goes to kaier, whose style in dance really played to our strength. we weren't the best dancers around; in fact we were far from the standards of the many. but we stood out because the piece was fresh, ingenious, 'clever' (from anthony leung), which led it to distingush itself from the pieces with 'pointy toes'. quoting VARSITY:
'Special mention also ought to go to the charming playfulness of Kai Eng's Small Fight Big Love' all the more ingenious for having been choreographed from Sweden...'
- Varsity Issue 669
=DD brlliant! just that it wasn't from sweden but singapore! from the astar studio in biopolis! it was that fateful day that nicole and were bored and went to the studio after work to try out some steps when this girl with five colours in her hair and a nose ring invaded the studio. she was practising her own steps and after watching a while, nicole and i thought 'she is GOOD!' then somehow we found out that she was from camb and from CUCDW! soon enough, we were having 7am rehearsals, many many brusies on our backs, and many many inspirations for creativity in dancing and DRESSING! heh!
we soon left singapore but practice for duelling banjos continued in the frosty mornings in benson hall, through the dark winter nights in magdalene squah court, buckingham, and the glorious queens' bowett. and finally finally, it was wrapped up with compliments and applause at the adc =)=)
at ballet under the stars with nicole, my trustworthy and dependable dance partner, whom i can flung myself onto knowing that she'll catch me. thank you for being there to colour the dance experience in camb =)
my favourite comment on our dance:
'a faded photograph of childhood memories is what we looked like'
- Nicole Tay, adapted from Yao Yu, who was one of our earliest audience at the show
Saturday, January 26, 2008
one more hour to the last show. as much as i dreaded it this morning, i am starting to miss it already.
i will miss how i was always so kancheong in the dressing room that i keep dropping things and nicole had to shout 'stop being so kancheong!' .
how i keep complaining that nicole should re-do her blusher, because either the intensity wasn't strong enough or the area powdered wasn't large enough.
how we fix the star ribbon on each other's hair, making sure the knots were as tight as they can be.
how i start panicking when the belly dancers were called onto stage despite we were 2 items behind them.
how nicole and i started some weird sumo steps at the side of the wings to 'rugged up' the energy.
how nicole just had to the me the things to watch out for JUST BEFORE WE HAD TO GO ONTO the stage when she had all the time in the dressing room.
how we gave each other re-assuring hugs while we waited for the spotlight.
how we gave each other the BIGGEST and TIGHTEST hug at the end of the piece, amidst the applause from the audience.
how i had to quick change in the wings and nicole helped me with my scarf.
how nicole had to exclaim how good the guy in the beatbox piece was, and how sinead's parts of a psalm was her favourite every night (nicole has 3 favourites: the psalm, angel gabriel and when push comes to shove).
how nicole just had to exclaim that jennifer hersch is amazing every time she walked past her.
and how pleased we feel when people tell us that our piece was their favourite backstage =)
there will be no more 7 am rehearsals, or 8am rehearsals for duelling banjos. no more fretting that we have lousy stamina, or that the squash court was just too cold for living things to dance in it.
life would be back to it's routine self, or at least more like it's routine self after the bow tonight.
'Small Fight BIG LOVE!' -- an amazing creation by Kai Eng; an amazing dream for Nicole Tay and Meisheng Lau
i will miss how i was always so kancheong in the dressing room that i keep dropping things and nicole had to shout 'stop being so kancheong!' .
how i keep complaining that nicole should re-do her blusher, because either the intensity wasn't strong enough or the area powdered wasn't large enough.
how we fix the star ribbon on each other's hair, making sure the knots were as tight as they can be.
how i start panicking when the belly dancers were called onto stage despite we were 2 items behind them.
how nicole and i started some weird sumo steps at the side of the wings to 'rugged up' the energy.
how nicole just had to the me the things to watch out for JUST BEFORE WE HAD TO GO ONTO the stage when she had all the time in the dressing room.
how we gave each other re-assuring hugs while we waited for the spotlight.
how we gave each other the BIGGEST and TIGHTEST hug at the end of the piece, amidst the applause from the audience.
how i had to quick change in the wings and nicole helped me with my scarf.
how nicole had to exclaim how good the guy in the beatbox piece was, and how sinead's parts of a psalm was her favourite every night (nicole has 3 favourites: the psalm, angel gabriel and when push comes to shove).
how nicole just had to exclaim that jennifer hersch is amazing every time she walked past her.
and how pleased we feel when people tell us that our piece was their favourite backstage =)
there will be no more 7 am rehearsals, or 8am rehearsals for duelling banjos. no more fretting that we have lousy stamina, or that the squash court was just too cold for living things to dance in it.
life would be back to it's routine self, or at least more like it's routine self after the bow tonight.
'Small Fight BIG LOVE!' -- an amazing creation by Kai Eng; an amazing dream for Nicole Tay and Meisheng Lau
Friday, January 25, 2008
Scientist by Day, Dancer by Night
is this possible?
i thought when i have learnt to be 'mindful' of what i am doing, such that i can compartmentalise my focus and energy, i can do all i want.
but the relationship between the quality of my essays and the time spent mulling over them is all too clear--or is it me blowing things out of proportion again?
please don't tell me that i am a student and my primary priority should be academic; i think it's a student's prerogative to sail the uncharted waters, to travel the roads less travelled, lest how would she know her path is not merely the trace of somebody else's?
i only take up commitments that i know i can give my best to see them to their completion. it is the best or nothing, the all-or-none principle.
i thought when i have learnt to be 'mindful' of what i am doing, such that i can compartmentalise my focus and energy, i can do all i want.
but the relationship between the quality of my essays and the time spent mulling over them is all too clear--or is it me blowing things out of proportion again?
please don't tell me that i am a student and my primary priority should be academic; i think it's a student's prerogative to sail the uncharted waters, to travel the roads less travelled, lest how would she know her path is not merely the trace of somebody else's?
i only take up commitments that i know i can give my best to see them to their completion. it is the best or nothing, the all-or-none principle.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
P E R S P E C T I V ES
i really should be studying for collections tomorrow, but my mind wouldn't keep still! aaaaaaaargh.
all that is racing in my head now are the tech runs, the rehearsals the rehearsals the rehearsals the rehearsals the rehearsals!!! i am in this full dance-y mode when term is about to start, when i am suppposed to think about organelles and essays and practicals! and the collections, the collections tomorrow and on sunday.
i am really excited about Perspectives-- i don't recall such great anticipation for Elemental last year. maybe it's because the items that i am in this year have more personal touch to them. one demands emotional protrayal, the other sees the development of trust and friendship with another person. and have i mentioned that kaier, the choreographer of the dance that nicole and i are sharing, will be flying in from stockholm to watch the show?!
the show this year has an interesting concept-- it's about expression of experiences and memories (see below), so it indeed can be rather personal for all those involved. but the production team this year seems, erm, to be facing quite a lot of hiccups along the way. no posters, no postcards or any form of publicity has been seen around camb yet, when the show is less than a week away. hopefully the show will turn out fine. last year's was a sell-out, so this year's will have high standards to beat.
then again, i am always surprised by how well people here can work in the very last minute.
anyway, here's my little part in publicising the show; it will be great if you can come and support =)
Presenting to you the annual CUCDW production:
"In memory everything seems to happen to music" - Tennessee Williams
Do your memories define you and your experiences? How much can you trust what you remember? How do the past, present and future linktogether?
Perspectives is an exploration and expression of the themes of time and memory through contemporary dance, defining them in a beautiful and engaging sensory spectacle. Drawn into each Perspective, the audience will be woven into the fabric of time with each inspiring movement of electric live dance. From the timeless aesthetic of classical ballet to the current pulsing beat of Hip-hop, Perspectives is a dynamic production gripping the audience in the powerful rhythm of its performance and vibrant intensity of its memory.
Let us transport you to a different time and place where you can embrace the contemporary heat of Cambridge dance glimpsing into the future and forming memories that will last a life time.
right. excitement sublimated into words. back to mugging.
all that is racing in my head now are the tech runs, the rehearsals the rehearsals the rehearsals the rehearsals the rehearsals!!! i am in this full dance-y mode when term is about to start, when i am suppposed to think about organelles and essays and practicals! and the collections, the collections tomorrow and on sunday.
i am really excited about Perspectives-- i don't recall such great anticipation for Elemental last year. maybe it's because the items that i am in this year have more personal touch to them. one demands emotional protrayal, the other sees the development of trust and friendship with another person. and have i mentioned that kaier, the choreographer of the dance that nicole and i are sharing, will be flying in from stockholm to watch the show?!
the show this year has an interesting concept-- it's about expression of experiences and memories (see below), so it indeed can be rather personal for all those involved. but the production team this year seems, erm, to be facing quite a lot of hiccups along the way. no posters, no postcards or any form of publicity has been seen around camb yet, when the show is less than a week away. hopefully the show will turn out fine. last year's was a sell-out, so this year's will have high standards to beat.
then again, i am always surprised by how well people here can work in the very last minute.
anyway, here's my little part in publicising the show; it will be great if you can come and support =)
Presenting to you the annual CUCDW production:
PERSPECTIVES
"In memory everything seems to happen to music" - Tennessee Williams
Do your memories define you and your experiences? How much can you trust what you remember? How do the past, present and future linktogether?
Perspectives is an exploration and expression of the themes of time and memory through contemporary dance, defining them in a beautiful and engaging sensory spectacle. Drawn into each Perspective, the audience will be woven into the fabric of time with each inspiring movement of electric live dance. From the timeless aesthetic of classical ballet to the current pulsing beat of Hip-hop, Perspectives is a dynamic production gripping the audience in the powerful rhythm of its performance and vibrant intensity of its memory.
Let us transport you to a different time and place where you can embrace the contemporary heat of Cambridge dance glimpsing into the future and forming memories that will last a life time.
Date/time: 22-26 Jan 08, 7:45 pm each night.
Location: ADC Theatre
Cost: Tues-Thurs £8/6, Fri & Sat £9/7
(the concession rates are for students)
Tickets available at www.adctheatre.com
right. excitement sublimated into words. back to mugging.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Springboard -Day 1
'Springboard is an initiative aimed at encouraging young women to realise their full potential, by increasing their self-confidence and belief in their own capabilities.'
a programme reminiscence of ACP, except that i am now the participant.
the theme and topics to be discussed over the course of the programme will be familiar- the universal rules of being proactive, taking charge of your own life, knowing your strengths and weaknesses, chart your values and goals, time management, energy management...almost all of the aspects that we once tried to instil in our young participants.
still, i am glad that i have signed up for this.
today, it provided the platform for me to re-assess my values and my goals, something i have put away for long enough in all my hurry to read and write those essays. i have always told people that camb is a wonderful place to be in because of the sheer opportunities it has to offer. but i have kept quiet about how this very fact has also caused much stress. there is always the dilemma between wanting to maintain the status quo, to do and improve on what you are good at and should be doing, and the guilt of not making full use of the opportunities available, the anxiety of missing out. but perhaps the real source of stress is not from the dilemma itself. rather, it could be the desire to live up to the expectations of others. i thought that was thought-provoking!
i also like the setting provided for free discussion among all the participants. when people share their experience, you get reminded of even the most sucessful looking people have setbacks, and that their anxieties and stress are really not very much different from your own. in some cases, you can even consider yourself to be fortunate relative to others. i am not suggesting that we need to know that other people have it tougher than we do to feel reassured; instead, i think it is a reminder for not sinking into self-pity when things are not smooth-sailing. in addition, such people with such stories could be potentially be good role models for inspiration and motivation.
also emphasized strongly today were the importance of seeking support, the necessity to build networks for support and the value of support systems already available. this, too, i find is quite a refreshing idea. the much mentioned figures to seek for advice are the personal tutor, the director of studies and the college nurse- i have only met my personal tutor once, and have never seen the college nurse. and i think my dos could be fed up with me by now because i keep sending him emails for a recommendation letter. the facilitators, however, reassured me that these people are more than willing to help students, and that nothing troubles them more than not knowing that a student is suffering in silence. hmm...since they say so, no harm trying really. isn't this form of personal attention the collegiate system is supposed to offer begin with? okay, i will try to have more confidence in this sort of organised pastoral care system.
so, i have not many terms left in camb, and the next is starting in a week's time. a very apt time indeed to have new advice on how to live the next term effectively.
a programme reminiscence of ACP, except that i am now the participant.
the theme and topics to be discussed over the course of the programme will be familiar- the universal rules of being proactive, taking charge of your own life, knowing your strengths and weaknesses, chart your values and goals, time management, energy management...almost all of the aspects that we once tried to instil in our young participants.
still, i am glad that i have signed up for this.
today, it provided the platform for me to re-assess my values and my goals, something i have put away for long enough in all my hurry to read and write those essays. i have always told people that camb is a wonderful place to be in because of the sheer opportunities it has to offer. but i have kept quiet about how this very fact has also caused much stress. there is always the dilemma between wanting to maintain the status quo, to do and improve on what you are good at and should be doing, and the guilt of not making full use of the opportunities available, the anxiety of missing out. but perhaps the real source of stress is not from the dilemma itself. rather, it could be the desire to live up to the expectations of others. i thought that was thought-provoking!
i also like the setting provided for free discussion among all the participants. when people share their experience, you get reminded of even the most sucessful looking people have setbacks, and that their anxieties and stress are really not very much different from your own. in some cases, you can even consider yourself to be fortunate relative to others. i am not suggesting that we need to know that other people have it tougher than we do to feel reassured; instead, i think it is a reminder for not sinking into self-pity when things are not smooth-sailing. in addition, such people with such stories could be potentially be good role models for inspiration and motivation.
also emphasized strongly today were the importance of seeking support, the necessity to build networks for support and the value of support systems already available. this, too, i find is quite a refreshing idea. the much mentioned figures to seek for advice are the personal tutor, the director of studies and the college nurse- i have only met my personal tutor once, and have never seen the college nurse. and i think my dos could be fed up with me by now because i keep sending him emails for a recommendation letter. the facilitators, however, reassured me that these people are more than willing to help students, and that nothing troubles them more than not knowing that a student is suffering in silence. hmm...since they say so, no harm trying really. isn't this form of personal attention the collegiate system is supposed to offer begin with? okay, i will try to have more confidence in this sort of organised pastoral care system.
so, i have not many terms left in camb, and the next is starting in a week's time. a very apt time indeed to have new advice on how to live the next term effectively.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Me a Hunter?
| You Are a Hunter Soul |
 You are driven and ambitious - totally self motivated to succeed |
or is it a personality that i subconciously adore?
either way it is a bit strange, especially the part on relating better to animals than to people. anyway, such tests are good for amusement. and perhaps a bit for reflection. just a bit.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
2008
the new year has twas arrived.
it has to come, regardless of whether i am ready for it or not.
it has to come, regardless of whether i am ready for it or not.
in this new year may i find renewed strength in Him, and that i trust Him more with my burdens and queries.
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."
Jeremiah 17: 7-8
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to my two dear brothers,
may you both start wonderful new life chapters in this new year.new environments bring new companions, new responsibilties and new ways to glorify our Lord.
with love always,
sis
