White Bread

reminds me of home.

i have never bought white bread for myself; the loaf of white bread that i have now was not bought for my own, which is why i bought it in the first place.

eating it with margarine alone reminds me of breakfast at home. when was the last time i chewed on white bread covered with creamy yellow margarine? i have insisted that it is almost as unhealthy as breakfast can get, with nothing else but refined carbs and fat.

but ah, i couldn't resist spreading a slice of white bread with creamy yellow margarine just now, to fold it into half and to eat it on its own. no tomatoes, no lettuce, no tuna. just bread and margarine. white bread and creamy yellow margarine.

Divide to Multiply

ron laskey asks why cancer is so uncommon, citing that it takes only a few out of the 10000 trillion cells in the body to be 'anti-social' for tumour formation. he directs us to the rigorous checkpoints that control the cell cycle.

robin hesketh asks why cancer is so common, citing that it takes multiple mutations for a cell to be immortalised and transformed to become cancerous. he directs us to the accumulation of mutations with each cell cycle.

the same cell cycle and checkpoint controls, but evaluated differently.

it is like asking whether the glass is half full or half empty. people will tell you the answer depends on whether you are an optimist or pessimist.

similarly, a situation can be seen in two different lights.

i know that when God closes a door, He opens another. or maybe He rather that i stay in the same room and not go anywhere. but the point is, i can see the situation from contrasting viewpoints, but He only sees one-- He sees what is best for me.

This Easter

it didn't snow in christmas, even when i was in the alps; it is snowing now on easter day, just when we all thought camb will not see snow this year.

i like watching the snow fall, and seeing it slowly coat everything in fluffy white. i see the red brick lutyens topped with snow icing, and the winding path in front of mallory covered with snow dust, all just through my huge window panes. it is snowing outside, yet i am inside, warm and protected, watching the flakes fall to the ground.

it is easter today, and i thank the Lord that i still remember the true significance of this day. it is like being grateful that i can partake the holy communion, that i am bought by the sacrifice of Jesus and am now a part of the larger body of Christ.

i am not perfect, in fact far from perfect. my mind harbours selfish thoughts, jealousy and even evil aspirations, no matter how much i am ashamed of them myself. yet my Lord has willingly stood in my place for all the guilt and shame that i ought to be bearing. He has taken from me the yoke which i couldn't have carried even with all my strength.

i am a child of God. my relaationship with my Creator has been restored. i have eternal hope, and may i dwell in the house of the Lord forever. amen.

lutyens in snow cover

it's john's birthday tomorrow; he'll be 18!
it was mum's birthday last sun; she's one year closer to 50.
i am 20 going to 21...

should have grown up by now, but i am still very much emotionally-attached to home.
it has been close to 6 years now staying away from home, but have i learn to be as strong as i should have been?



how would i ever cope without my family

The Many Privileges

camb indeed offers many privileges. our lecturers just cannot fail to mention that so and so who discovered such was a student/member of the department 'working in the lab just around the corner'. our supervision groups are small, sometimes led by the professors themsleves, who always assure us that they are just an email away if we need to ask any questions.

it is not until recently that it dawned upon me that the same privileges extend into personal, and spiritual, development. the veritas forum that started last friday saw many distinguished speakers wrestling with difficult, sometimes even uncomfortable, discussion topics with a socially-engaged and intellectually sharp audience. there was a baroness who spoke about religious freedom, and the president of tearfund who spoke on social pluralism; tonight alister mcgrath ( or perhaps more well-known as dawkins' nemesis) speaks on gospel as public truth.

i wish i had read dawkins' books, so that i can grasp better mcgrath's talk tonight. i foresee i will be rapidly lost in the course of the discussion because there will be many people in the audience who have read dawkins. still, i think i should go for the talk, as such an opportunity to learn from both the speaker and the audience is hard to come-by.

opportunities abound, the true lesson remains to be learning with an open mind and a humble heart. don't we pay more respect to lecturers or authoratative figures who speak gently and humbly, even in areas of their expertise?


'Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry'



p/s: if anyone is interested, alister mcgrath's talk is at 8pm tonight (4th march) at babbage lecture theatre.