and so the grueling 2-week long tripos ended yesterday. I made it, but I know it was solely by Grace that I made it through.
The Stress
the tension started building up since the beginning of easter hols. by 2 weeks into easter term i think the stress had taken it’s toll. I became very irritable, and anything that I thought was taking longer than it should was a waste of my time. and so, I became grumpy when I had to wait in the queue at Sainsbury, when I had taken too long to choose which box of cereal to buy, when lecturers weren’t making sense during lectures, when X-gal staining needed an hour’s incubation. I even walked out of a supervision because I thought my supervisor was waffling. I didn’t even go around taking pictures of the blossoms, the tulips, the roses when they first bloomed…
but there was cg, up till week 4, just a week before my exams. and I am the new cg leader. when we were briefed by joel the cf president, I was overwhelmed with the responsibilities lay ahead, especially in exam term! I have always struggled to keep my walk with God during exam time, as my heart and mind are always in such chaos that it is nearly impossible to keep still to listen. I know I would never be able to lead a cg in such a state. to lead means to encourage others, to keep them in prayer, to make sure the exam stress and fury doesn’t take over our fellowship and our dependence on God.
and so wanlin and I set out plans, prayed about them, and re-prayed about them again and again. and miraculously, we sustained cooking dinner, bible study and worship, and prayer pointers for all 4 sessions with volunteered help from the cg. that was awesome =)
Sacrifices for Friends
we read about having to make sacrifices in friendships in one of the bible study sessions, and we contemplated what defines a sacrifice. to sacrifice is to give up something that is most precious to you. so, giving chocolates to a friend isn’t a sacrifice; giving your last cup of rice to your neighbour in a disaster zone is sacrifice. and so for me, as time is most precious in exam term, to sacrifice is to take time to listen to those who needed a listening ear and to encourage those who needed encouragement.
mabel and shu-en have been very good role models to me in this. their room is always open to anyone who needed someone to visit. and their ears too, to anyone who needed listening ears. on every saturday night throughout the term, they will invite just anybody who would drop by for dessert or dinner, for unwinding after a week’s of hard work. why, the duo even made me a cake on my birthday, when it was so close to their own exams!
The Grace
I spoke about the Grace that sustained me. in material terms, Grace manifested as loving parents. I had at least 18 smses, one before and after each of my 9 papers from my dad to assure me that the family is keeping me in prayer. all 18 were sent out at the correct time, meaning my dad kept track of my exam timetable, even when he was abroad in china. Grace also manifested as a strong fellowship with the cg. when I was in full panic mode just before plants paper 1 last wed night, I msged sam to pray for me. he did and assured me he would continue till the end of my exam.
most importantly, Grace manifested in God’s word itself. he kept the Bible, in which He said ‘ Behold, I am God… is there anything too difficult for Me?’ in jeremiah 32:27. then I understood why some of my material is so complex. it is because they try to capture the wondrous workings of an all-powerful God. learning science has only made me more firmly believe in creation. Grace has also manifested as peace and rest in God Himself. i now know why there is a Sabbath day. it is so that people can be renewed in energy and spirits in their work.
last year, I spoke about removing the cup of tripos from me in my post-tripos entry. I still had the cups this year, but it was filled with something new.
Roses
on 23rd may when i had my first paper-- plant prac
on 6th june when i finished my last --bmb prac =)
