reminds me of home.
i have never bought white bread for myself; the loaf of white bread that i have now was not bought for my own, which is why i bought it in the first place.
eating it with margarine alone reminds me of breakfast at home. when was the last time i chewed on white bread covered with creamy yellow margarine? i have insisted that it is almost as unhealthy as breakfast can get, with nothing else but refined carbs and fat.
but ah, i couldn't resist spreading a slice of white bread with creamy yellow margarine just now, to fold it into half and to eat it on its own. no tomatoes, no lettuce, no tuna. just bread and margarine. white bread and creamy yellow margarine.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Divide to Multiply
ron laskey asks why cancer is so uncommon, citing that it takes only a few out of the 10000 trillion cells in the body to be 'anti-social' for tumour formation. he directs us to the rigorous checkpoints that control the cell cycle.
robin hesketh asks why cancer is so common, citing that it takes multiple mutations for a cell to be immortalised and transformed to become cancerous. he directs us to the accumulation of mutations with each cell cycle.
the same cell cycle and checkpoint controls, but evaluated differently.
it is like asking whether the glass is half full or half empty. people will tell you the answer depends on whether you are an optimist or pessimist.
similarly, a situation can be seen in two different lights.
i know that when God closes a door, He opens another. or maybe He rather that i stay in the same room and not go anywhere. but the point is, i can see the situation from contrasting viewpoints, but He only sees one-- He sees what is best for me.
robin hesketh asks why cancer is so common, citing that it takes multiple mutations for a cell to be immortalised and transformed to become cancerous. he directs us to the accumulation of mutations with each cell cycle.
the same cell cycle and checkpoint controls, but evaluated differently.
it is like asking whether the glass is half full or half empty. people will tell you the answer depends on whether you are an optimist or pessimist.
similarly, a situation can be seen in two different lights.
i know that when God closes a door, He opens another. or maybe He rather that i stay in the same room and not go anywhere. but the point is, i can see the situation from contrasting viewpoints, but He only sees one-- He sees what is best for me.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
This Easter
it didn't snow in christmas, even when i was in the alps; it is snowing now on easter day, just when we all thought camb will not see snow this year.
i like watching the snow fall, and seeing it slowly coat everything in fluffy white. i see the red brick lutyens topped with snow icing, and the winding path in front of mallory covered with snow dust, all just through my huge window panes. it is snowing outside, yet i am inside, warm and protected, watching the flakes fall to the ground.
it is easter today, and i thank the Lord that i still remember the true significance of this day. it is like being grateful that i can partake the holy communion, that i am bought by the sacrifice of Jesus and am now a part of the larger body of Christ.
i am not perfect, in fact far from perfect. my mind harbours selfish thoughts, jealousy and even evil aspirations, no matter how much i am ashamed of them myself. yet my Lord has willingly stood in my place for all the guilt and shame that i ought to be bearing. He has taken from me the yoke which i couldn't have carried even with all my strength.
i am a child of God. my relaationship with my Creator has been restored. i have eternal hope, and may i dwell in the house of the Lord forever. amen.
i like watching the snow fall, and seeing it slowly coat everything in fluffy white. i see the red brick lutyens topped with snow icing, and the winding path in front of mallory covered with snow dust, all just through my huge window panes. it is snowing outside, yet i am inside, warm and protected, watching the flakes fall to the ground.
it is easter today, and i thank the Lord that i still remember the true significance of this day. it is like being grateful that i can partake the holy communion, that i am bought by the sacrifice of Jesus and am now a part of the larger body of Christ.
i am not perfect, in fact far from perfect. my mind harbours selfish thoughts, jealousy and even evil aspirations, no matter how much i am ashamed of them myself. yet my Lord has willingly stood in my place for all the guilt and shame that i ought to be bearing. He has taken from me the yoke which i couldn't have carried even with all my strength.
i am a child of God. my relaationship with my Creator has been restored. i have eternal hope, and may i dwell in the house of the Lord forever. amen.
lutyens in snow cover
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
it's john's birthday tomorrow; he'll be 18!
it was mum's birthday last sun; she's one year closer to 50.
i am 20 going to 21...
should have grown up by now, but i am still very much emotionally-attached to home.
it has been close to 6 years now staying away from home, but have i learn to be as strong as i should have been?
how would i ever cope without my family
it was mum's birthday last sun; she's one year closer to 50.
i am 20 going to 21...
should have grown up by now, but i am still very much emotionally-attached to home.
it has been close to 6 years now staying away from home, but have i learn to be as strong as i should have been?
how would i ever cope without my family
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
The Many Privileges
camb indeed offers many privileges. our lecturers just cannot fail to mention that so and so who discovered such was a student/member of the department 'working in the lab just around the corner'. our supervision groups are small, sometimes led by the professors themsleves, who always assure us that they are just an email away if we need to ask any questions.
it is not until recently that it dawned upon me that the same privileges extend into personal, and spiritual, development. the veritas forum that started last friday saw many distinguished speakers wrestling with difficult, sometimes even uncomfortable, discussion topics with a socially-engaged and intellectually sharp audience. there was a baroness who spoke about religious freedom, and the president of tearfund who spoke on social pluralism; tonight alister mcgrath ( or perhaps more well-known as dawkins' nemesis) speaks on gospel as public truth.
i wish i had read dawkins' books, so that i can grasp better mcgrath's talk tonight. i foresee i will be rapidly lost in the course of the discussion because there will be many people in the audience who have read dawkins. still, i think i should go for the talk, as such an opportunity to learn from both the speaker and the audience is hard to come-by.
opportunities abound, the true lesson remains to be learning with an open mind and a humble heart. don't we pay more respect to lecturers or authoratative figures who speak gently and humbly, even in areas of their expertise?
'Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry'
p/s: if anyone is interested, alister mcgrath's talk is at 8pm tonight (4th march) at babbage lecture theatre.
it is not until recently that it dawned upon me that the same privileges extend into personal, and spiritual, development. the veritas forum that started last friday saw many distinguished speakers wrestling with difficult, sometimes even uncomfortable, discussion topics with a socially-engaged and intellectually sharp audience. there was a baroness who spoke about religious freedom, and the president of tearfund who spoke on social pluralism; tonight alister mcgrath ( or perhaps more well-known as dawkins' nemesis) speaks on gospel as public truth.
i wish i had read dawkins' books, so that i can grasp better mcgrath's talk tonight. i foresee i will be rapidly lost in the course of the discussion because there will be many people in the audience who have read dawkins. still, i think i should go for the talk, as such an opportunity to learn from both the speaker and the audience is hard to come-by.
opportunities abound, the true lesson remains to be learning with an open mind and a humble heart. don't we pay more respect to lecturers or authoratative figures who speak gently and humbly, even in areas of their expertise?
'Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry'
p/s: if anyone is interested, alister mcgrath's talk is at 8pm tonight (4th march) at babbage lecture theatre.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
When Everyone Screams for Motivation
"Dear all,
I still seem to be four essays short! 6 if you include last week's...."
an excerpt from the email sent by my bmb supervisor at 5.30pm earlier. the essay was due 5.00pm the day before. i just handed in mine 15 min ago. there were 4 of us in his supervision group...
three days ago, my cdb supervisor asked if we have read the 'light reading' (i.e. review articles that are at least 8 pages long) that he gave us the previous week. my supervision partner answered 'i flicked through it...' before the supervisor interupted in disbelief 'FLICKED THROUGH IT?' . he sort of pleaded us to read the articles with the words 'PLEASe, PLEASE read my presents ' at least three times during the one hour session.
he gave us another two presents before we left.
it is week 6 of lent term. struggling to catch up is the norm. i am not sure if i am looking forward to term ending though; i have 4 assessed practical writeups and an assessed presentation due just before the end of term. furthermore, end of lent marks easter, which co-incidentally starts with the same big E.
I still seem to be four essays short! 6 if you include last week's...."
an excerpt from the email sent by my bmb supervisor at 5.30pm earlier. the essay was due 5.00pm the day before. i just handed in mine 15 min ago. there were 4 of us in his supervision group...
three days ago, my cdb supervisor asked if we have read the 'light reading' (i.e. review articles that are at least 8 pages long) that he gave us the previous week. my supervision partner answered 'i flicked through it...' before the supervisor interupted in disbelief 'FLICKED THROUGH IT?' . he sort of pleaded us to read the articles with the words 'PLEASe, PLEASE read my presents ' at least three times during the one hour session.
he gave us another two presents before we left.
it is week 6 of lent term. struggling to catch up is the norm. i am not sure if i am looking forward to term ending though; i have 4 assessed practical writeups and an assessed presentation due just before the end of term. furthermore, end of lent marks easter, which co-incidentally starts with the same big E.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
A Weekend Spent with Friends
it was reinvigorating to be able to just get away from work for the weekend and just be in the company of great friends =)
it started on friday night with cg cny dinner part II. we had express steamboat, ie everything was cooked steamboat style in the pot on the hob, so that we could have the food faster. we had massive quantities of food; two pots of tomyum AND two pots chicken soup to share among the 6 of us. and of course, the big piles of bak kua which sean brought back from his weekend escapade to kuala lumpur.
on saturday, jyy mei came to camb. she hasn't changed much-- as glam as usual, but with a lot more exciting updates this time, haha!
we did the usual touristy things: punting and college visits. and i am embarrased to say that i just found out that the bridge just outside magd is the cam bridge that tsu zhi mo referred to in his famous poem. i cross that bridge everyday.
then we met mabel. the three of us were secondary school classmates.
in the evening, it was dinner with weishen, jinyang and his sis, and hongking before going to mnite.
mnite was good entertainment; a light-hearted evening that brought to memory all things malaysian, even the area overlooking the words SOUTH COURT at midvalley. the pontianak dance was good. i don't think it was provocative at all; it was like a ballet pas de duex to me. kenneith clearly did it again!
sun was spent in church/ grafton/ zara/ h&m with jyy mei. she tried to help me get an outfit for the cumsa ball next week. unfortunately, i was so picky that i ended up only getting a top for everyday wear. she, on the other hand, got a few bargains =)
after sending jyymei off the the train station, i rushed to sains and back to magd to cook for the astar pple. it was a gathering that i organised in the name of chinese new year. it was good to catch up with manu, and start having ideas about more random things nicole and i could do.
so it was a good weekend. i thank the Lord for placing wonderful people in my life to share the little joys of life =)
it started on friday night with cg cny dinner part II. we had express steamboat, ie everything was cooked steamboat style in the pot on the hob, so that we could have the food faster. we had massive quantities of food; two pots of tomyum AND two pots chicken soup to share among the 6 of us. and of course, the big piles of bak kua which sean brought back from his weekend escapade to kuala lumpur.
on saturday, jyy mei came to camb. she hasn't changed much-- as glam as usual, but with a lot more exciting updates this time, haha!
we did the usual touristy things: punting and college visits. and i am embarrased to say that i just found out that the bridge just outside magd is the cam bridge that tsu zhi mo referred to in his famous poem. i cross that bridge everyday.
then we met mabel. the three of us were secondary school classmates.
in the evening, it was dinner with weishen, jinyang and his sis, and hongking before going to mnite.
mnite was good entertainment; a light-hearted evening that brought to memory all things malaysian, even the area overlooking the words SOUTH COURT at midvalley. the pontianak dance was good. i don't think it was provocative at all; it was like a ballet pas de duex to me. kenneith clearly did it again!
sun was spent in church/ grafton/ zara/ h&m with jyy mei. she tried to help me get an outfit for the cumsa ball next week. unfortunately, i was so picky that i ended up only getting a top for everyday wear. she, on the other hand, got a few bargains =)
after sending jyymei off the the train station, i rushed to sains and back to magd to cook for the astar pple. it was a gathering that i organised in the name of chinese new year. it was good to catch up with manu, and start having ideas about more random things nicole and i could do.
so it was a good weekend. i thank the Lord for placing wonderful people in my life to share the little joys of life =)
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Tea
attended a tea tasting session with first class tea today. i don't usually drink tea as i prefer coffee, but i went anyway out of curiosity to why the english like their tea so much. it was disappointing at first because the teas that we were going to try were all asian teas, including the all too familiar oolong and pu erh. then i thought it was strange to drink asian teas in glasses, as i thought the tea set and the tea drinking ceremony were part and parcel of the tea drinking experience. nonetheless, the session turned out to be quite interesting, as i didn't know the taste of tea could be described as such before:
china jasmine white clouds (dong ding, fujian)
silver tea; the most highly recommended by will, the person who led the session. incidently, it was the most expensive one we had today, as it is retailed at GBP20 per 100g. jasmine-scented, delicate and light.
organic green darjeeling risheehat (india)
so i learnt that green tea is black tea before the latter gets fermented. the best teas are grown without pesticides because the chemicals will affect the taste of the tea. this particular tea was described as fishy/ seaweedy o.O
organic china oolong
oolong means semi-fermented tea, which is the intermediate between green and black. this is done through tossing the tea leaves such that their edges are bruised and start fermenting there. it was described as woody, smoky, intruguing/ confusing. ironically enough, it is thought to aid clarity of thought and the orange oolong (i.e. orange-flavoured(!)) was the best business tea at first class tea.
japan bancha houjicha
this is roasted sheng cha, meaning the tea leaves are unprocessed as far as it is possible. it's scent reminded me of mai xiang cha. some people thought it was seaweedy (again?!).
xiaguan pu erh tuo cha 2006 (yunnan, china)
this tea has to be matured in a brick, hence the date that shows its year of produce, just like wine. some people described it as 'earthy', like 'kicking up autumn leaves in the woods'- such romantic notions, no wonder it created a commodity bubble not too long ago. also, victoria beckham claimed that pu erh was her secret to staying slim.
abali vrikshayurvedic (arunachal pradesh, india)
the least popular tea of the night. people thought it tasted like rubber. some thought it smelled like chocholate. i thought it was drinkable, just a stronger version of the bancha earlier. oh, this tea was pinkish in colour.
sikkim temi
most people like this one. they described it with all the positive adjectives- honey-like, flowery, armchair tea, even 'a hug from the tea'! i think people are fond with it because it tastes very much like the typical 'english tea', which most of the time is black tea. this tea reminds me of BOH tea from cameron highlands.
rose claire, scented white tea
the name explains the tea. 'claire' was after will's fiancee, to whom he just recently got engaged to. his opinion on the tea: creamy, like turkish delight in a glass.
overall, it was an interesting session with tea. oh, i also learnt that people can get tea drunk on too much tea. apparently this is due to hypoglycaemia, as some types of tea like oolong and pu erh have blood glucose lowering effects. does this justify the all the sugar-loaded cookies and cakes that accompanied the tea session today? i think i have had too much tea in one session, and the acid is giving me a gastric...
china jasmine white clouds (dong ding, fujian)
silver tea; the most highly recommended by will, the person who led the session. incidently, it was the most expensive one we had today, as it is retailed at GBP20 per 100g. jasmine-scented, delicate and light.
organic green darjeeling risheehat (india)
so i learnt that green tea is black tea before the latter gets fermented. the best teas are grown without pesticides because the chemicals will affect the taste of the tea. this particular tea was described as fishy/ seaweedy o.O
organic china oolong
oolong means semi-fermented tea, which is the intermediate between green and black. this is done through tossing the tea leaves such that their edges are bruised and start fermenting there. it was described as woody, smoky, intruguing/ confusing. ironically enough, it is thought to aid clarity of thought and the orange oolong (i.e. orange-flavoured(!)) was the best business tea at first class tea.
japan bancha houjicha
this is roasted sheng cha, meaning the tea leaves are unprocessed as far as it is possible. it's scent reminded me of mai xiang cha. some people thought it was seaweedy (again?!).
xiaguan pu erh tuo cha 2006 (yunnan, china)
this tea has to be matured in a brick, hence the date that shows its year of produce, just like wine. some people described it as 'earthy', like 'kicking up autumn leaves in the woods'- such romantic notions, no wonder it created a commodity bubble not too long ago. also, victoria beckham claimed that pu erh was her secret to staying slim.
abali vrikshayurvedic (arunachal pradesh, india)
the least popular tea of the night. people thought it tasted like rubber. some thought it smelled like chocholate. i thought it was drinkable, just a stronger version of the bancha earlier. oh, this tea was pinkish in colour.
sikkim temi
most people like this one. they described it with all the positive adjectives- honey-like, flowery, armchair tea, even 'a hug from the tea'! i think people are fond with it because it tastes very much like the typical 'english tea', which most of the time is black tea. this tea reminds me of BOH tea from cameron highlands.
rose claire, scented white tea
the name explains the tea. 'claire' was after will's fiancee, to whom he just recently got engaged to. his opinion on the tea: creamy, like turkish delight in a glass.
overall, it was an interesting session with tea. oh, i also learnt that people can get tea drunk on too much tea. apparently this is due to hypoglycaemia, as some types of tea like oolong and pu erh have blood glucose lowering effects. does this justify the all the sugar-loaded cookies and cakes that accompanied the tea session today? i think i have had too much tea in one session, and the acid is giving me a gastric...
Monday, February 11, 2008
1 Corinthians 13:4
coincidentally or not, is the verse of the the day on biblegateway.
to love someone like you is ordinary.
to love someone unlike you is extraordinary.
to love someone who hates you is revolutionary.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
to love someone like you is ordinary.
to love someone unlike you is extraordinary.
to love someone who hates you is revolutionary.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Halfway Hall
the dinner marked the middle of my time as an undergraduate in magdalene college. at the end of the dinner, the master gave a speech. he recounted how he first met all of us in the same hall on the morning of our matriculation, to tell us the history and architecture of the college, and to tell us that we were a group of 'extraordinary young people' and that we were 'academically promising'.
the master went on to remind us that the second half of our time will only pass quicker, if we thought the first was already too quick, and he warned us against complacency. to further illustrate his point on complacency, he told us a story:
a crow was sitting on the tree doing nothing. a rabbit came along, saw the crow and asked,'can i sit and do nothing all day long just like you?' the crow answered,'yea, why not?'. so the rabbit stopped hopping, sat beneath the tree and did nothing, just like the crow. a fox came along and ate the rabbit.
the moral of the story: if you want to sit around and do nothing, make sure you are sitting somewhere high up.
naturally, the hall applauded the master; he was as eloquent in his speech as always.
now, the expectation to be 'extraordinary young people' who are 'academically promising' and much more-- the Lord will complete the work He has begun in me, amen.
the master went on to remind us that the second half of our time will only pass quicker, if we thought the first was already too quick, and he warned us against complacency. to further illustrate his point on complacency, he told us a story:
a crow was sitting on the tree doing nothing. a rabbit came along, saw the crow and asked,'can i sit and do nothing all day long just like you?' the crow answered,'yea, why not?'. so the rabbit stopped hopping, sat beneath the tree and did nothing, just like the crow. a fox came along and ate the rabbit.
the moral of the story: if you want to sit around and do nothing, make sure you are sitting somewhere high up.
naturally, the hall applauded the master; he was as eloquent in his speech as always.
now, the expectation to be 'extraordinary young people' who are 'academically promising' and much more-- the Lord will complete the work He has begun in me, amen.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Last Post on Perspectives
and i'll have to move on with my life.
a big thank you to those who have supported the show in one way or another:
my mummy who got nicole and i our costumes-- we each have two sets of those pants, though we only wore one for all the five nights; weishen and daniel who consistently helped me book bowett room for practice; jinyang and ryan who cooked dinner throughout the holidays for nicole and i before our rehearsals; jinyang and ryan who had to walk me back from queens' after my night rehearsals; and all the people who came to watch the show-- yaoyu, huixin, joe, mabel, shu-en, shuangning, kelvin, haihan, kimberle, jasmin, weevien, alex, ben koh, eugene, ee mae, darryl, sean, angel, kathy, livia, kaier, and people whom i didn't meet backstage but was among the audience
THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH =)
a big thank you to those who have supported the show in one way or another:
my mummy who got nicole and i our costumes-- we each have two sets of those pants, though we only wore one for all the five nights; weishen and daniel who consistently helped me book bowett room for practice; jinyang and ryan who cooked dinner throughout the holidays for nicole and i before our rehearsals; jinyang and ryan who had to walk me back from queens' after my night rehearsals; and all the people who came to watch the show-- yaoyu, huixin, joe, mabel, shu-en, shuangning, kelvin, haihan, kimberle, jasmin, weevien, alex, ben koh, eugene, ee mae, darryl, sean, angel, kathy, livia, kaier, and people whom i didn't meet backstage but was among the audience
THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH =)
small fight, BIG BIG LOVE
the last show didn't end with a bang-- nicole and i slipped at the very beginning (though no one noticed except kaier), and the bow was too short for sentiments to build up. but that didn't mar the whole experience! nicole and i had given our bestest best, and i am almost sure that all her glycogen reserves in her right arm must have been exhausted from me leaning on her and she swinging me around, hah!
the piece we shared 'small fight big love', or as we more fondly knew it as duelling banjos, was well-received all five nights. the very first time we presented it to the cambridge population at the wip, we were the only item that received an applause, and i just loved how the audience went 'aaawwwwww' at the end when nicole and i came back together into the hug =) and weren't we flattered when netta, a brilliant choregrapher herself, came up to us in the dressing room and said. 'are you in kai's piece? that is my favourite!' yesterday, she added that kai's piece has 'all the elements that i think a good piece should have', hehe!
most of the credit for the success of' *ahem* our piece (please forgive this shameless pride that is overflowing in me) goes to kaier, whose style in dance really played to our strength. we weren't the best dancers around; in fact we were far from the standards of the many. but we stood out because the piece was fresh, ingenious, 'clever' (from anthony leung), which led it to distingush itself from the pieces with 'pointy toes'. quoting VARSITY:
=DD brlliant! just that it wasn't from sweden but singapore! from the astar studio in biopolis! it was that fateful day that nicole and were bored and went to the studio after work to try out some steps when this girl with five colours in her hair and a nose ring invaded the studio. she was practising her own steps and after watching a while, nicole and i thought 'she is GOOD!' then somehow we found out that she was from camb and from CUCDW! soon enough, we were having 7am rehearsals, many many brusies on our backs, and many many inspirations for creativity in dancing and DRESSING! heh!
we soon left singapore but practice for duelling banjos continued in the frosty mornings in benson hall, through the dark winter nights in magdalene squah court, buckingham, and the glorious queens' bowett. and finally finally, it was wrapped up with compliments and applause at the adc =)=)
the piece we shared 'small fight big love', or as we more fondly knew it as duelling banjos, was well-received all five nights. the very first time we presented it to the cambridge population at the wip, we were the only item that received an applause, and i just loved how the audience went 'aaawwwwww' at the end when nicole and i came back together into the hug =) and weren't we flattered when netta, a brilliant choregrapher herself, came up to us in the dressing room and said. 'are you in kai's piece? that is my favourite!' yesterday, she added that kai's piece has 'all the elements that i think a good piece should have', hehe!
most of the credit for the success of' *ahem* our piece (please forgive this shameless pride that is overflowing in me) goes to kaier, whose style in dance really played to our strength. we weren't the best dancers around; in fact we were far from the standards of the many. but we stood out because the piece was fresh, ingenious, 'clever' (from anthony leung), which led it to distingush itself from the pieces with 'pointy toes'. quoting VARSITY:
'Special mention also ought to go to the charming playfulness of Kai Eng's Small Fight Big Love' all the more ingenious for having been choreographed from Sweden...'
- Varsity Issue 669
=DD brlliant! just that it wasn't from sweden but singapore! from the astar studio in biopolis! it was that fateful day that nicole and were bored and went to the studio after work to try out some steps when this girl with five colours in her hair and a nose ring invaded the studio. she was practising her own steps and after watching a while, nicole and i thought 'she is GOOD!' then somehow we found out that she was from camb and from CUCDW! soon enough, we were having 7am rehearsals, many many brusies on our backs, and many many inspirations for creativity in dancing and DRESSING! heh!
we soon left singapore but practice for duelling banjos continued in the frosty mornings in benson hall, through the dark winter nights in magdalene squah court, buckingham, and the glorious queens' bowett. and finally finally, it was wrapped up with compliments and applause at the adc =)=)
at ballet under the stars with nicole, my trustworthy and dependable dance partner, whom i can flung myself onto knowing that she'll catch me. thank you for being there to colour the dance experience in camb =)
my favourite comment on our dance:
'a faded photograph of childhood memories is what we looked like'
- Nicole Tay, adapted from Yao Yu, who was one of our earliest audience at the show
Saturday, January 26, 2008
one more hour to the last show. as much as i dreaded it this morning, i am starting to miss it already.
i will miss how i was always so kancheong in the dressing room that i keep dropping things and nicole had to shout 'stop being so kancheong!' .
how i keep complaining that nicole should re-do her blusher, because either the intensity wasn't strong enough or the area powdered wasn't large enough.
how we fix the star ribbon on each other's hair, making sure the knots were as tight as they can be.
how i start panicking when the belly dancers were called onto stage despite we were 2 items behind them.
how nicole and i started some weird sumo steps at the side of the wings to 'rugged up' the energy.
how nicole just had to the me the things to watch out for JUST BEFORE WE HAD TO GO ONTO the stage when she had all the time in the dressing room.
how we gave each other re-assuring hugs while we waited for the spotlight.
how we gave each other the BIGGEST and TIGHTEST hug at the end of the piece, amidst the applause from the audience.
how i had to quick change in the wings and nicole helped me with my scarf.
how nicole had to exclaim how good the guy in the beatbox piece was, and how sinead's parts of a psalm was her favourite every night (nicole has 3 favourites: the psalm, angel gabriel and when push comes to shove).
how nicole just had to exclaim that jennifer hersch is amazing every time she walked past her.
and how pleased we feel when people tell us that our piece was their favourite backstage =)
there will be no more 7 am rehearsals, or 8am rehearsals for duelling banjos. no more fretting that we have lousy stamina, or that the squash court was just too cold for living things to dance in it.
life would be back to it's routine self, or at least more like it's routine self after the bow tonight.
'Small Fight BIG LOVE!' -- an amazing creation by Kai Eng; an amazing dream for Nicole Tay and Meisheng Lau
i will miss how i was always so kancheong in the dressing room that i keep dropping things and nicole had to shout 'stop being so kancheong!' .
how i keep complaining that nicole should re-do her blusher, because either the intensity wasn't strong enough or the area powdered wasn't large enough.
how we fix the star ribbon on each other's hair, making sure the knots were as tight as they can be.
how i start panicking when the belly dancers were called onto stage despite we were 2 items behind them.
how nicole and i started some weird sumo steps at the side of the wings to 'rugged up' the energy.
how nicole just had to the me the things to watch out for JUST BEFORE WE HAD TO GO ONTO the stage when she had all the time in the dressing room.
how we gave each other re-assuring hugs while we waited for the spotlight.
how we gave each other the BIGGEST and TIGHTEST hug at the end of the piece, amidst the applause from the audience.
how i had to quick change in the wings and nicole helped me with my scarf.
how nicole had to exclaim how good the guy in the beatbox piece was, and how sinead's parts of a psalm was her favourite every night (nicole has 3 favourites: the psalm, angel gabriel and when push comes to shove).
how nicole just had to exclaim that jennifer hersch is amazing every time she walked past her.
and how pleased we feel when people tell us that our piece was their favourite backstage =)
there will be no more 7 am rehearsals, or 8am rehearsals for duelling banjos. no more fretting that we have lousy stamina, or that the squash court was just too cold for living things to dance in it.
life would be back to it's routine self, or at least more like it's routine self after the bow tonight.
'Small Fight BIG LOVE!' -- an amazing creation by Kai Eng; an amazing dream for Nicole Tay and Meisheng Lau
Friday, January 25, 2008
Scientist by Day, Dancer by Night
is this possible?
i thought when i have learnt to be 'mindful' of what i am doing, such that i can compartmentalise my focus and energy, i can do all i want.
but the relationship between the quality of my essays and the time spent mulling over them is all too clear--or is it me blowing things out of proportion again?
please don't tell me that i am a student and my primary priority should be academic; i think it's a student's prerogative to sail the uncharted waters, to travel the roads less travelled, lest how would she know her path is not merely the trace of somebody else's?
i only take up commitments that i know i can give my best to see them to their completion. it is the best or nothing, the all-or-none principle.
i thought when i have learnt to be 'mindful' of what i am doing, such that i can compartmentalise my focus and energy, i can do all i want.
but the relationship between the quality of my essays and the time spent mulling over them is all too clear--or is it me blowing things out of proportion again?
please don't tell me that i am a student and my primary priority should be academic; i think it's a student's prerogative to sail the uncharted waters, to travel the roads less travelled, lest how would she know her path is not merely the trace of somebody else's?
i only take up commitments that i know i can give my best to see them to their completion. it is the best or nothing, the all-or-none principle.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
P E R S P E C T I V ES
i really should be studying for collections tomorrow, but my mind wouldn't keep still! aaaaaaaargh.
all that is racing in my head now are the tech runs, the rehearsals the rehearsals the rehearsals the rehearsals the rehearsals!!! i am in this full dance-y mode when term is about to start, when i am suppposed to think about organelles and essays and practicals! and the collections, the collections tomorrow and on sunday.
i am really excited about Perspectives-- i don't recall such great anticipation for Elemental last year. maybe it's because the items that i am in this year have more personal touch to them. one demands emotional protrayal, the other sees the development of trust and friendship with another person. and have i mentioned that kaier, the choreographer of the dance that nicole and i are sharing, will be flying in from stockholm to watch the show?!
the show this year has an interesting concept-- it's about expression of experiences and memories (see below), so it indeed can be rather personal for all those involved. but the production team this year seems, erm, to be facing quite a lot of hiccups along the way. no posters, no postcards or any form of publicity has been seen around camb yet, when the show is less than a week away. hopefully the show will turn out fine. last year's was a sell-out, so this year's will have high standards to beat.
then again, i am always surprised by how well people here can work in the very last minute.
anyway, here's my little part in publicising the show; it will be great if you can come and support =)
Presenting to you the annual CUCDW production:
"In memory everything seems to happen to music" - Tennessee Williams
Do your memories define you and your experiences? How much can you trust what you remember? How do the past, present and future linktogether?
Perspectives is an exploration and expression of the themes of time and memory through contemporary dance, defining them in a beautiful and engaging sensory spectacle. Drawn into each Perspective, the audience will be woven into the fabric of time with each inspiring movement of electric live dance. From the timeless aesthetic of classical ballet to the current pulsing beat of Hip-hop, Perspectives is a dynamic production gripping the audience in the powerful rhythm of its performance and vibrant intensity of its memory.
Let us transport you to a different time and place where you can embrace the contemporary heat of Cambridge dance glimpsing into the future and forming memories that will last a life time.
right. excitement sublimated into words. back to mugging.
all that is racing in my head now are the tech runs, the rehearsals the rehearsals the rehearsals the rehearsals the rehearsals!!! i am in this full dance-y mode when term is about to start, when i am suppposed to think about organelles and essays and practicals! and the collections, the collections tomorrow and on sunday.
i am really excited about Perspectives-- i don't recall such great anticipation for Elemental last year. maybe it's because the items that i am in this year have more personal touch to them. one demands emotional protrayal, the other sees the development of trust and friendship with another person. and have i mentioned that kaier, the choreographer of the dance that nicole and i are sharing, will be flying in from stockholm to watch the show?!
the show this year has an interesting concept-- it's about expression of experiences and memories (see below), so it indeed can be rather personal for all those involved. but the production team this year seems, erm, to be facing quite a lot of hiccups along the way. no posters, no postcards or any form of publicity has been seen around camb yet, when the show is less than a week away. hopefully the show will turn out fine. last year's was a sell-out, so this year's will have high standards to beat.
then again, i am always surprised by how well people here can work in the very last minute.
anyway, here's my little part in publicising the show; it will be great if you can come and support =)
Presenting to you the annual CUCDW production:
PERSPECTIVES
"In memory everything seems to happen to music" - Tennessee Williams
Do your memories define you and your experiences? How much can you trust what you remember? How do the past, present and future linktogether?
Perspectives is an exploration and expression of the themes of time and memory through contemporary dance, defining them in a beautiful and engaging sensory spectacle. Drawn into each Perspective, the audience will be woven into the fabric of time with each inspiring movement of electric live dance. From the timeless aesthetic of classical ballet to the current pulsing beat of Hip-hop, Perspectives is a dynamic production gripping the audience in the powerful rhythm of its performance and vibrant intensity of its memory.
Let us transport you to a different time and place where you can embrace the contemporary heat of Cambridge dance glimpsing into the future and forming memories that will last a life time.
Date/time: 22-26 Jan 08, 7:45 pm each night.
Location: ADC Theatre
Cost: Tues-Thurs £8/6, Fri & Sat £9/7
(the concession rates are for students)
Tickets available at www.adctheatre.com
right. excitement sublimated into words. back to mugging.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Springboard -Day 1
'Springboard is an initiative aimed at encouraging young women to realise their full potential, by increasing their self-confidence and belief in their own capabilities.'
a programme reminiscence of ACP, except that i am now the participant.
the theme and topics to be discussed over the course of the programme will be familiar- the universal rules of being proactive, taking charge of your own life, knowing your strengths and weaknesses, chart your values and goals, time management, energy management...almost all of the aspects that we once tried to instil in our young participants.
still, i am glad that i have signed up for this.
today, it provided the platform for me to re-assess my values and my goals, something i have put away for long enough in all my hurry to read and write those essays. i have always told people that camb is a wonderful place to be in because of the sheer opportunities it has to offer. but i have kept quiet about how this very fact has also caused much stress. there is always the dilemma between wanting to maintain the status quo, to do and improve on what you are good at and should be doing, and the guilt of not making full use of the opportunities available, the anxiety of missing out. but perhaps the real source of stress is not from the dilemma itself. rather, it could be the desire to live up to the expectations of others. i thought that was thought-provoking!
i also like the setting provided for free discussion among all the participants. when people share their experience, you get reminded of even the most sucessful looking people have setbacks, and that their anxieties and stress are really not very much different from your own. in some cases, you can even consider yourself to be fortunate relative to others. i am not suggesting that we need to know that other people have it tougher than we do to feel reassured; instead, i think it is a reminder for not sinking into self-pity when things are not smooth-sailing. in addition, such people with such stories could be potentially be good role models for inspiration and motivation.
also emphasized strongly today were the importance of seeking support, the necessity to build networks for support and the value of support systems already available. this, too, i find is quite a refreshing idea. the much mentioned figures to seek for advice are the personal tutor, the director of studies and the college nurse- i have only met my personal tutor once, and have never seen the college nurse. and i think my dos could be fed up with me by now because i keep sending him emails for a recommendation letter. the facilitators, however, reassured me that these people are more than willing to help students, and that nothing troubles them more than not knowing that a student is suffering in silence. hmm...since they say so, no harm trying really. isn't this form of personal attention the collegiate system is supposed to offer begin with? okay, i will try to have more confidence in this sort of organised pastoral care system.
so, i have not many terms left in camb, and the next is starting in a week's time. a very apt time indeed to have new advice on how to live the next term effectively.
a programme reminiscence of ACP, except that i am now the participant.
the theme and topics to be discussed over the course of the programme will be familiar- the universal rules of being proactive, taking charge of your own life, knowing your strengths and weaknesses, chart your values and goals, time management, energy management...almost all of the aspects that we once tried to instil in our young participants.
still, i am glad that i have signed up for this.
today, it provided the platform for me to re-assess my values and my goals, something i have put away for long enough in all my hurry to read and write those essays. i have always told people that camb is a wonderful place to be in because of the sheer opportunities it has to offer. but i have kept quiet about how this very fact has also caused much stress. there is always the dilemma between wanting to maintain the status quo, to do and improve on what you are good at and should be doing, and the guilt of not making full use of the opportunities available, the anxiety of missing out. but perhaps the real source of stress is not from the dilemma itself. rather, it could be the desire to live up to the expectations of others. i thought that was thought-provoking!
i also like the setting provided for free discussion among all the participants. when people share their experience, you get reminded of even the most sucessful looking people have setbacks, and that their anxieties and stress are really not very much different from your own. in some cases, you can even consider yourself to be fortunate relative to others. i am not suggesting that we need to know that other people have it tougher than we do to feel reassured; instead, i think it is a reminder for not sinking into self-pity when things are not smooth-sailing. in addition, such people with such stories could be potentially be good role models for inspiration and motivation.
also emphasized strongly today were the importance of seeking support, the necessity to build networks for support and the value of support systems already available. this, too, i find is quite a refreshing idea. the much mentioned figures to seek for advice are the personal tutor, the director of studies and the college nurse- i have only met my personal tutor once, and have never seen the college nurse. and i think my dos could be fed up with me by now because i keep sending him emails for a recommendation letter. the facilitators, however, reassured me that these people are more than willing to help students, and that nothing troubles them more than not knowing that a student is suffering in silence. hmm...since they say so, no harm trying really. isn't this form of personal attention the collegiate system is supposed to offer begin with? okay, i will try to have more confidence in this sort of organised pastoral care system.
so, i have not many terms left in camb, and the next is starting in a week's time. a very apt time indeed to have new advice on how to live the next term effectively.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Me a Hunter?
| You Are a Hunter Soul |
 You are driven and ambitious - totally self motivated to succeed |
or is it a personality that i subconciously adore?
either way it is a bit strange, especially the part on relating better to animals than to people. anyway, such tests are good for amusement. and perhaps a bit for reflection. just a bit.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
2008
the new year has twas arrived.
it has to come, regardless of whether i am ready for it or not.
it has to come, regardless of whether i am ready for it or not.
in this new year may i find renewed strength in Him, and that i trust Him more with my burdens and queries.
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."
Jeremiah 17: 7-8
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to my two dear brothers,
may you both start wonderful new life chapters in this new year.new environments bring new companions, new responsibilties and new ways to glorify our Lord.
with love always,
sis
Monday, December 31, 2007
Skiiiiiiii... ...Wheee
the skiing experience
the ski boots were a torture in the beginning. they were heavy, so tight that they cut off blood circulation to the ankle and below, and make you walk like robocop.
the first 3 days of skiing were quite demoralising.
while everyone was practicing skiing down the slopes, i was spending all my time and energy trying to reach the top of the slopes. on mon, i failed the turning test and was put into olivier's group, with whom i practiced turning on a 'slope' which was more like a platform really. walking up the slopes in our skis either by the v-walk or by side-stepping was tiring... until i experienced the nightmare of taking the button ski lifts on tues. i fell off the lift almost everytime i took it when for everyone else it seemed effortless. i was so disappointed at a time that i took off my skis and decided i had enough of it. but jinyang made me put my skis back on, and, in siewkit's words, with their positive aura i will make it to the top. and indeed i did! and i made it two consecutive times!
on wed, the confidence to ski gradually built up. i fell off the lift again the first thing in the morning, but was picked up. i think i should be ashamed to admit that a big girl like me still need all the encouragement i can get to feel confident. my spirits soared to its peak by the end of wed because i was finally skiing! should i add that olivier actually led us down a blue slope? haha.
on wed, the confidence to ski gradually built up. i fell off the lift again the first thing in the morning, but was picked up. i think i should be ashamed to admit that a big girl like me still need all the encouragement i can get to feel confident. my spirits soared to its peak by the end of wed because i was finally skiing! should i add that olivier actually led us down a blue slope? haha.
on thurs and fri, we did more challenging green and blue slopes. the last blue slope we did with the guys after olivier left was *ahem* the most eventful. i think i fell more times than all the other 7 people combined. i realised that i am afraid of high speeds. whenever i feel i am going too fast, i panicked and lost control. but in retrospect, i must have been very brave at the same time, to be able to want to keep on going down the slopes.
olivier and his english-speaking girls. the prcs in the group all speak fluent french
overall, it has been a steep learning curve, from the more-a-platform 'slope' on mon to a 'pink' slope on fri. olivier was an excellent coach i must say. and i had helpful prc skimates who watch my back when we were learning, and very encouraging friends who made me push the boundaries even outside lesson time.
group 14 toasting olivier
the people who made the trip all the more memorable =)
