Thursdays

it's thursday again, the evening of the day that i look forward to in the week. besides it being the start of another week, ie another milestone reached in the term, it also marks the end of the weekly supervision crisis and the necessary stress.

i have physio and cells supervisions on thurs. and both supervisors, particularly the one for cells, are very enthusiastic in giving us assignments to help us learn. and both set deadlines at wed lunchtime. so on mon, tues and wed i am in this frantic state of reading and writing, on top of trying to juggle two practicals and two supervisions at the same time.and thurs is the unusually long day for me. so the cumulated sleep deprivation only makes thurs mornings all the more dreadful.

but come evening, everything is good, like the sense of relief i am indulging in now. on top of that, there's the weekend to look forward to. not that weekends are free, but eventful enough to be away from essays and textbooks and to just enjoy the company of like-minded people. there's malaysian nite this sat, then there'll be the chisoc variety show performance on the next. and in the following weekend, there's spring salsa ball, and then i'll be in oslo on the one after. then it'll be easter break! didn't realise how eventful lent term actually is... maybe because i'm always in this daze from lack of sleep!

i must say i have been fairly enjoying myself this lent term. for one, the plant physio lectures are amusing, not that i understand plants any more than animals (in fact less because there is so much individuality in each species), but because of the enthusiasm that the lecturers exude, sometimes to the point that borders eccentricity (think dr hanke, and no less, dr griffiths). i wish i had the time to elaborate what i meant, but not this evening as i want my sleep and i have thermodynamics to mull over before the evening deadline tomorrow.

i think i should just end here by saying that the plant sciences department in camb is cool, like the shady spots under the Fagus sylvatica =).

Happy Chinese New Year!

chinese new year wishes from camb:

like how all sojourns form enclaves in a foreign land, we camb first years gathered at st john's for reunion dinner when home is half a world away. we tried to bring the flavours of that part of the world which we are so familiar with to this dinner of special significance, and i must say it was done beautifully, largely owing to the mega effort jinyang and ryan put into planning the steamboat dinner and lugging all the groceries back from chormei. so it was an evening of scooping fishballs and wantan from the soup, eating kangkung (which i have not seen since last october) with thai chili sauce, and seeing pan-fried japanese tofu, all in the midst of the oh-so-festive chinese new year songs.

dinner started late at 8pm because the people with the food (we from magd) came late-- like how dinner at home starts late because my family reaches my uncle's house late. the food was great, and everyone was stuffed full because the cooks (ryan, jinyang, jiechao, weishen) put in long hours to prepare it and to make sure that it is in abundance--like how my aunt will prepare the dinner and all the chinese new year cookies to last us kids for the next few days. jit ern's room was filled with laughter, the loudest being dingdong's-- like how the living room at my uncle's house will be, especially when john laughs at the funny movies. all in all, the reunion dinner was great, and was as "chinese new yeary" as it could be. why, we even had lo sang:


video is courtesy of jinyang =)

this was the first time i didn't have new year eve reunion dinner with my family, and there is indeed that strange feeling that something is amissed. when i was in primary school and had to write essays about cny celebration, all the model essays i refer to would definitely include lines about relatives who work abroad rushes back just in time for dinner, or something similar to emphasised the reunion dinner. even tv adverts stress on the dinner, like the one in the elders' home where the old ladies all sat around the table bragging about their sons' achievements only to hide their pain that these sons don't even visit them on new year's eve, or the funny one about the old-fashioned grandmother who made sure everything was in the auspicious red and had the family around the dining table waiting for her grandson from america, only to find that he was red from head to toe but brought back a black girlfriend! these remind me again and again how family togetherness is a strongly rooted chinese tradition, and how blessed are those who have a family to share a meal with. but it has never hit me this hard before now that i have been through a new year without the precious company of family. how much i miss all of them suddenly!

it is unlikely that i will be at home for cny for the next two years. then, hopefully i get to spend a nice long one during my year of attachment, and hopefully nothing much has changed yet, and that cny at home is still the same cny as i know it. then it's five years of abroad living again. by the time settle down properly in a place not too far away from home, i might already be someone's wife and be eating reunion dinner with his family instead. is all this part of growing up, a reminder of how precious moments are transient?

anyway, it is indeed by god's grace that there is still a new year for me, and that this new year is a challenging one, one in which my weakness is apparent and that i can rely on his strength instead.

happy new year eveyone! xin1 nian2 jin4 bu4, shen1 ti3 jian4 kang1, wan4 shi4 sheng4 yi4

Cambridge turned into Narnia

Pepy's Library

and its magical allure brought out the inner child of 9 twenty-year old nat scis. during the break between chemistry lecture and physiology lecture, we ran and snow-ball fight each other with no inhibitions on the icy lawns in downing college.

video is courtesy of jinyang =)

when the temperature gets too cold, the rate of chemical reactions slows down-- so we learn in chemistry. and i am going to blame the lower metabolic rate in the brain for the lack of urgency to go for lectures that morning, haha. before qb, i took the pleasure to capture the icy beauty of magd:-

view of magd from basing

bright's building

first court

then in between qb and chem, we idled around downing site to gasp and awe at the snow ( inviting curious stares from the angmohs when we asked them to help us take pics) before snow-balling each other all the way to chem lecture, thinking that the first thermodynamics lecture will very well be on why it feels colder when snow melts.




so, today was a day of snow-fun, a welcomed break in the otherwise work-loaded week, not that any supervisions were cancelled due to the snow though...anyway, =).

me, yi lun and jie chao with the snowman guangyuan built

me, siew kit, wei shen, jin yang

Sandstorm

"The wind whips up a sandstorm, leaving you fighting through the blindness. Force against force..."

that was the blurb mandy wrote for our piece for elemental. but somehow it seems to more aptly describe the post-elemental week i had. my room was in such a state as if it had just been through a sandstorm; and physically and mentally, i felt i had just survived one. i am tired; the acne outbreak and dark eyebags on my face are just too evident to miss. i feel like going on an escapade, shut myself away from work, emails, rehearsals, socials for a day or two, but the camb schedule just don't permit it! now that physio prac is on every week, it feels as if there can be no moment to lose- slack and risk being left behind, or buck up and catch up.

it was strange how elemental seemed ages ago when at this time last saturday i was still listening to sandstorm on repeat mode. i didn't have high expectations for brilliance performance of our piece; we were after all from the beginners contemporary class, a group consisting mainly of people who were on the stage to dance for the first time. friends who watched it said it was good. perhaps we were indeed, or they could just be too polite to say otherwise. last wednesday's class with mandy had an unusually large turnup. maybe we did impressed the crowd who watched the show. but to take into account all possible explanations ( as we learn in practicals), we could have done so badly that people think they could do better than us! haha.

i did feel sorry for myself for not being able to join other more 'pro' dance groups. but at the same time i felt relief not being put under the pressure to meet high expectations. camb has opened my eyes to a world of much higher standards than i have previously been aware of. a good dancer here generally refers to one who can do a myriad of dance forms- from ballet to tap to contemporary to streetdance to social to lindy hop to baroque to greek (i have not even heard of the last two prior to this...) , has participated in national competitions, has been with a dance troupe or trained at a performing arts school at some point in his/her life, and can choreograph. wow... i can never be one of them.

on the other hand, i see people who are not afraid to try, like some of my fellow sandstormers. i should too. i think being less self-conscious and more thick-skinned will do me good in exploring new things. perhaps it is what it takes to admit that others are better than you.

11.10 pm

i really should be sleeping now, but i am feeling super hyper. i think it is the coffee; drank two cups of it before the performace because i was feeling lethargic then. seems like i have overdone it now. there is probably still a significant concentration of caffeine in the brain blocking the adenosine receptors. and from wiki, it is the reduction in adenosine activity that leads to an increased activity of the neurotransmitter dopamine that largely accounts for the stimulatory effects of caffeine. so that's a bit info for physiology =)

physio prac was cancelled today due to power cut in the department, so i had an unexpected but welcomed free afternoon. thought i would do some work and catch some sleep, but at around 4.00pm, which was a good five hours before the show, i was feeling jittery already. so years of performance experience does not help very much in alleviating pre-show apprehension. and spending hours "preparing myself mentally"for something that lasts less than 4 minutes is probably why it always seems to me that i have less time and energy than other people to be involved in an array of activities. i have not been utilising time and energy efficiently!

the way around it is probably to learn to focus the mind in the right things at the right time. easier said than done, but i'll just have to keep practising.

so the right thing to do at this hour is to sleep. the first lecture is at 9 in the morning and there are 3 lectures, 1 practical and 1 supervision tomorrow. in the evening, it's the third show for elemental. sometimes i feel like i have to be superwoman to tide through this week.

Snow, White White Snow

it snowed. what delight it was to wake up and be greeted by white snow covering the roofs and branches of trees outside the window. the tranquility it brought with it momentarily took away the sense of urgency to prepare for the new day. for a while, it felt as it was christmas again.

the first flakes came yesterday. but i missed it by a mere five minutes because i was in the lecture theatre. when lecture ended, there were not even traces of the elusive snow anywhere. seniors said it only snows lightly in cambridge, so i thought i would be pleased enough to just see fallen snow. moreover, the weather forecast says it usually snows in the middle of the night. by the time it's morning, the snow would probably have melted.

so it was a pleasant surprise to see white magdalene:-

and low and behold, IT IS SNOWING RIGHT NOW! i see snowflakes from heaven from my window!

haha, i sounded like a 3-year old getting excited over possibly the commmonest things around =)

and just as the seniors told us last year, you'll know when it snows because everyone (almost) will put "snow" by their msn nicknames. how true, haha.

Daily Blessings

a steaming cup of coffee

fresh toast with jam and margarine

coat, scarf and earmuffs to keep warm

off i go for the first lecture of lent term!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not all children get to go to school. Such is the poverty in Sierra Leone that families need all the resources available to survive, which means child labour. Life expectancy is 39-years-old for men and 42 for women. Often a child is taken from school to replace a deceased mother or father. This brother and sister are making their way to cultivate rice in a field some miles away. The other kids in the village are at school.

(taken from bbc website)

The Long Awaited Parcel

finally, it is here! the parcel that i have been expecting since two months ago and have been checking for its arrival at the porters' since last week!

just couldn't suppress the grin when i was opening it. felt like a child unwrapping christmas presents. well, since i did not get to unwrap any last christmas, might as well assume that this is a LARGE belated one.

tada!

all the goodies from home =)

The Last Rehearsal

elemental is just a week away, and the last proper rehearsal for polishing just ended an hour ago. so from now till the real show on tues at the adc where people are actually paying to watch a dance show, there will be only one technical run and one full dress rehearsal for which the full cast can logically be present.

it is not that the organisers of the show or the various performing groups are not putting in enough effort. in fact, a senior told me that we actually had more practices this year compared to last year (are you serious?) . it is just me feeling insecure with the liberal way by which things are run. i feel uncomfortable when there is too much room for spontaneities. it is perhaps the lack of faith in people to do the right/ necessary things when they could give all the reasons to not know what to do. it is perhaps the unconcious belitiling assumption that many will not take the initiative to find out what to do. it is perhaps the result of being under the ruthless rein of the jc cca system, which had seeded in me an urge for iron-fist control.

but the people here, in my dance group at least, are different from those i encountered before. again and again, they have proved that my secret apprehension is plain superfluous. these people join dance because they have the passion for dance and performance, even among them who are complete novices in dance. when we came back for the first rehearsal after six weeks of absolute holiday ( there is no such thing in hc dance hitherto! ), the people actually remember the choreography, despite complaining about not practising much on their own over the hols! they actually care enough to even think of practising by themselves!

i admire our choreographer's faith in people's ability. she lives by the motto "if you say you can't, you won't. you can." when i first talked to her about my interest in joining her piece, she told me all she wanted is commitment. she neither held any auditions to select people for her piece, nor did she do blocking according to the abilities of the dancers. all were treated fairly and equal because she thinks we all can achieve the same. how great an encouragement this is for people who love dance but never had the opportunity to dance, just because they are not good enough!

she is fantastic when it comes to working under pressure. there were several crises since we began rehearsals for the piece. any of them could have driven an ordinary choreographer mad. once, a handful of people who said they would be in the piece decided to change their minds after they learnt the choreography. then, there were difficulties finding venues for rehearsals, such that the already pitiful number of rehearsal sessions became uncertain. a few days ago, we thought we would be missing a dancer because she had to be in poland for an award presentation ceremony organised for her by a university during the period of the show. and just yesterday, a fellow dancer had an accident and could barely get out of bed without help, which means she cannot perform! poor choreographer had to think of ways to cover her absence in the very last rehearsal! but she did not blow up, which is very professional. put it simply, she is C-O-O-L.

i am keeping my fingers crossed that things will turn out alright for all six nights next week. i have never done performances in five consecutive nights before. the closest was just two. and even then i was drained, like every bit of energy in me was squeezed out, after the adrenaline rush wore off. really hope all of us have the strength to juggle work and performance to last for the week. and from what we did for rehearsal just now, i think the show is going to be exciting =)

Alas, the DNA coin!

i was just so pleasantly surprised when my friend nonchalantly placed three 2 pound coins on the table for me-- lying among them is the elusive DNA 2 pound coin! thought i'll never lay my hands on one, as all nat scis i know are vying for it since the day the lecturer introduced it to us. my friend just had not realised that the treasure had been lying quietly in his wallet! after the initial shock and excitement he kindly let me keep it, despite having wanted one for himself just as much. thank you wei shen!

the handsome double helix

description from wikipedia:

Released in 2003in commemoration of the 50th anniversary of the discovery of the structure of DNA.
Reverse: Representation of the DNA double helix, DNA DOUBLE HELIX above, 1953 TWO POUNDS 2003 below. Edge inscription: DEOXYRIBONUCLEIC ACID followed by a decorative side view of a double helix.

the lecturers never fail to remind us that watson and crick made the discovery in the cavendish lab, which is in cambridge but oh-so-far-away. similarly, they never fail to emphasise that the discovery of the z scheme in photosynthesis, the cloning of the first animal (note: dolly the sheep from scotland was the first mammal), etc. etc. etc. were done in cambridge. what a way to inspire us to win more nobel prizes for the university!

The Chronicles of 2006- Part III

alas, i set foot onto camb. everything seemed surreal; it was the disbelief that something that i had been looking forward since i sent in the application form a year ago had realised. i did not harbour any expectations of the place; i came with an open mind to embrace the new environment.

30th September

- arrived at camb in the morning.

picturesque magdalene when the tree still had green leaves. view from basing.

had helpful cumsa mom and dad to help me settle in. attended the first cookout in camb at churchill.

Fresher's Week

- matriculated after taking a photo in front of the Pepy's library, signing some forms in the buckingham room and attented the matriculation dinner- the first formal in camb.

- attended social activities organized for the freshers

inter-subject sports day at jesus' green

- got lost a couple of times

generally, i was so confused that i was just being dragged around. the way the college bombarded us with information was actually pre-empting what was to come when term starts...

Michaelmas

time past just so fast here that it really doesn't matter which month or week it is.

besides attending lectures, supervisions and practicals, i managed to find time to

- attend a dance audition and failed for the first time.

almost everything in camb is worldclass. except the efficiency of the banks- a month to set up a bank account and FIVE WORKING DAYS to clear a cheque??!

- join the cell group named 'higher ground'

- go to oxford to meet kristin

kristin

suprise! met amy from hc!

with melissa on the stairs outside christchurch's dining hall where a scene of harry potter's taken

me in christchurch's dining hall

- join mandy's dance class

- go sight seeing

graduation in front out senate house

selwyn college, if i'm not mistaken

queen's college

- experience thec hange in season and the 'turning back of time' when the summer time ended on the last sunday of october

leaves on the wall turning red

i turned up in church an hour early for service. upon finding the door locked, i thought they must have implemented the policy to lock out late-comers.

and i couldn't believe the sun set at around 5 pm that day that i kept checking my clock to ensured that it hadn't stopped. i was so unused to the new time that i slept at 7 that day.

nowadays the sun sets at 3.30pm.

view from my window at around 5pm

- see fireworks at midsummer commons on guy fawkes day

yilun, yifan, jit ern, jia yi, jinyang

the best fireworks i have ever seen.

- send my laptop to warwick for repair and wrote 'angry' emails to get it back

- attend a couple of formals

taken during christmas formal with the occupants of basing house: ashok, jinyang, christina, angel. arun

- brace the cold winds and darkness to cycle to west cambridge site for physio supervision every thursday

and

- how can i exclude cookouts? =)

nat sci cookout

magd-queen's cookout

thus, the michaelmas term came to a close. unbelievable, considering the amount of work we had done (or supposed to have done) and how fast time has gone by.

and it's unbelievable too how i have stay awake the entire night, not even dozing off a little, to write this chronicles of 2006 trilogy. i started writing at around 9pm on 23rd dec 2006, and finished at 6.30 am on 24th dec 2006. nine and a half hours to compile an entire year's worth of events, pictures and thoughts!

anyway, it's christmas eve already! have a blesssed christmas! =)

The Chronicles of 2006- Part II

When the university acceptance letter and that long-awaited email from hazel finally came in, life became structured again. Preparation for the next stage of education and life in general was underway.

June

- Outward Bound Singapore

it was a five-day outdoor survival camp on pulau ubin. and i survived all the jungle-trekking, day-long kayaking, abseiling, blind crawling in the tunnel, and walk of faith. i actually cherished every moment!

i think it's mainly due to the wonderful eng soon team that i was in.

eng soon at fish & co

- a series of pre-departure programmes by astar at biopolis

the prep for overseas studies was comprehensive. we had talks on the cultural differences between the US, UK and spore, how to promote spore the tourism board way, basic first aid, the mbti personality profiles ( i am intj), how to handle bgr, and esp how to manage ldr, and the one that we all looked forward to since the start of the programme, a practical class for dining etiquette and cooking.

it was an interesting week getting to know to the fellow astar scholars.

- was baptised.

when i was standing in the line waiting for my turn, i was overwhelmed with gratitude. i thank God for putting me into a christian family such that i got to know Him and His salvation since young.

'Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever'. Psalm 23: 6

amen

July

- trip to cameron highlands

with our guide nash

we had the honour of being the first malaysian group to be led by nash for NIGHT jungle trekking since he started 7 years ago. we still couldn't understand how on earth we had the guts to go into the jungle when it's pitch dark. we didn't even turn back when one of our two torches failed; we went all the way to the top! what bravery! or rather, naivety?

- shuttle to and fro spore for awards presentation day rehearsal

was sabotaged into the dance group by qianyi, who kicked my chair so hard when hazel announced that she could dance! anyway, got to know a bunch of lovely 'choreographers' and 'dancers' . it was a pleasant experience all in all.

- astar awards presentation ceremony

the contemporary 'emo' dance group.

the hip-hop group

my parents who came down to spore especiall for the ceremony

they are always there for support and encouragement. love them always =)

August

- went to sibu to see wai po

at KLIA

- extended family trip to tiara beach, port dickson

all my paternal aunts, uncles and cousins were present. it was like a grand family reunion.

with all my paternal cousins

- learnt how to paint

my favourites

- be a big sister and supervised henry for his piano exams

he's got a high distinction!

September

- preparation for outbound flight

- met up with a lot of old school mates

primary school best friends- xinvy and me

shwu jiun and chooi leng

soo jin, chui yeen, shwu jiun. pik yi's absent

szee mun , jyy mei

yuet chi and pang pang

ms ong and 04S7A

- mines wonderland trip with grandma

- first time to karaoke

singing companions: my brother, ready, joanne

then eventually, the day for departure came

- outbound flight to heathrow, london

my family saw me off from KLIA.

my friends saw me off from changi airport

then i boarded the plane, taking with me the prayers of my family and the church, the well wishes from my friends, the memories of the time spent at home, and the aspirations for the awaiting journey.